


Be More Mean

by SparkieRose



Series: Be More Mean [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) Actor RPF, Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Mean Girls References, Musicals, Post-Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, References to Be More Chill, Theatre, musical theatre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:42:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkieRose/pseuds/SparkieRose
Summary: When the Middleborough High School Juniors signed up for an exchange class with Evanston High School, they weren't expecting much. But then they hear the story of Cady Heron and the Plastics, and hit it off well with the group. With new friends, they just have a lot of fun, exchanging stories of buses and superhuman computers trying to take over the world.What if the Be More Chill and Mean Girls schools existed in the same universe? And what if they had an exchange class...A Mean Girls and Be More Chill crossover fic... Because why not?(Based on the musicals)
Series: Be More Mean [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043031
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. No One Died, Janis

**Author's Note:**

> A Be More Chill and Mean Girls crossover. Because why not?  
> Fic idea spontaneously brought into existence between me and @TylerZoe while we were talking about how Damien and Christine would definitely get along.
> 
> I say that I won’t post fics on my main and will only be under a pseudonym, but rules change when it’s just a funny idea and not a crappy self-insert fic. Ok? Ok.  
> Also I’m a theatre kid, you kinda have to deal with it. You probably suspected as much when you clicked on this fic, but man oh man, prepare for some major theatre and meme references, and everything in between here. I love referencing things, and I find it real fun if they’re pointed out to me so I know I’m not the only one who knows what I’m talking about.  
> Also, I don’t know how to write schools. This is not to be the most logical fanfic ever created, ok? This is the same universe where a supercomputer was ingested into a teenager with Mountain Dew and attempted to enslave the human race. Just keep that in mind while reading and you find some continuity errors. This is purely indulgent and I want a cute crossover fic and I want it now gosh darn it.
> 
> Also the prompt for them going to Northshore high in the first place changed like a million different times already and it’s the first night hElP  
> This is also going to be pretty meta. Might put a playlist or the songs in the author’s notes or something if I feel like they’re basically saying the song or singing it in the chapter, idk man. I’m tired. I want serotonin. Gimme gimme, me.  
> Might be a bit OOC, but do I care? _glitter _no _glitter _____  
> Also I’m writing Christine as diagnosed with ADHD, not ADD, mostly as a headcanon for this and since ADD’s kind of just inattentive type ADHD, and because I heavily relate to her and have ADHD and because there is no way the girl went “and part of me wants to do this:” and literally just went keyboard spam with her whole being and doesn’t have it.
> 
> _Fic started at 12:12am on Tuesday, December 1, 2020. It’s now officially the time of giving, and I am gifting myself a fic. The end._

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Middlebrough High School Juniors arrive at Evanston High School, and meet not the Plastics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bear with me i've never posted anything on ao3 before so i'm a bit confused on the limited HTML and how it works but this is also on my Wattpad under the same name as this account if it's harder to read here for that reason
> 
> also how does one double space i'm sorry it's not double spaced uhhhhh help
> 
> edit: I WAS TRYING TO FIX IT. I RUINED IT. IT'S ALL MUSH. I'M SO SORRY UHH TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES BEE WOO BEE WOO BEE WOO BEE WOO
> 
> edit 2: no worries everyone! i've fixed it! aha. now all of the notes here are deemed null, and useless. i'll keep them here though, so you can see the utter panic i had to endure for this fic.

“Did this bus _have _to break down in the middle of nowhere?” Jeremy Heere groaned loudly.__

____

____

“Hey, it’s not in the middle of nowhere!” Michael Mell patted patted his best friend’s shoulder. “Technically, we’re in Illinois!”

Jeremy glared at Michael as his girlfriend, Christine Canigula, was having a private jam session in the seat next to him to a playlist of her favorite musical theatre songs. She didn’t have a care in the world at the moment. She probably would when she got to the sadder songs, but they had quite a few hours until she got there. Jeremey hoped so, at least.

“I gotta go to the bathroom, man!” Rich Goranski announced to the whole bus.

“TMI, Rich.” Chloe Valentine wrinkled her nose.

“Well, it’ll be way too TMI if I don’t get to a bathroom soon!” He told her.

“Is that... Is that the school?” Jeremy squinted out the bus window.

“It is!” Jake Dillinger groaned. “School!”

“If I run, do you think I’ll make it there and be able to use their bathroom?” Rich asked.

“With your short legs? No way dude.” Jake cackled.

Rich glared at Jake and smacked the back of his head from his seat behind the jock and crossed his arms.

“North... Shore... High...” Michael slowly read the sign in front of the school.

“Great, we broke down right by the high school. And I thought I could escape the mundane normalcies of education we were supposed to bear.” Brooke Lohst sighed.

“What the heck, Brooke?” Chloe asked.

“I’ve been reading poetry.”

“Everyone, off the bus. We’re going to the school.” Their teacher said.

Everyone groaned, and someone in the back dared to ask, “Why?"

“Were you all unaware of the name of the school you signed up to exchange classes with?” The teacher asked as calmly as they could, ushering the students to follow them out of the bus and towards the Northshore high school.

The group did seem, in fact, unaware of the name of the school they had signed up to exchange classes with. It was the gang of friends, sort-of-friends, and ‘are we friends?’ of Middleborough, and they all vaguely knew each other and decided they probably wouldn’t tear each other apart if they signed up for an exchange program.

“If only Mr. Rayus was still with us.” Christine looked teary eyed.

“Well, he quit to pursue his dream of being on Broadway, so it’s not like he’d take us here.” Jeremy said.

“He’d at least make this a bit more entertaining. Throw in Shakespeare. Give us hot pockets.”

“I could go for a hot pocket.” Jeremy nodded. “Or any food. We can’t get lunch now.”

“Stop saying lunch, dude.” Michael said. “I’m really craving a slushie now. Thanks.”

“No problem!” Jeremy smiled brightly.

“Freeze your brain...” Christine sang, the word slushie an instant trigger to the endless floodgates of Heathers.

“Michael, what have you done?” Jeremy asked.

“I was never here.” Michael whispered, pulling his hood up over his head and removing his glasses.

“You aren’t pulling a Clark Kent.” Jeremy shook his head.

“How would you know? I could be doing exactly that right now!”

“And how would _you _know? You’re practically blind without your glasses.”__

____

____

“Let the illusion last, my friend.”

“This is a pretty nice school.” Jenna Roland commented.

“It’d look even nicer on my Instagram feed. Jenna, snap a picture of me in front of this sign.” Chloe said.

It looked like it was a free period, a few students sitting out in the grass, studying.

“Who’re they?” Jeremy heard someone whisper.

“I don’t know, but that girl over there is doing the exact choreography from Hello, Dolly, and I know I already love her.”

“Hey, you!” One of the voices called out to the group. “What’s going on?”

“Ah, excuse me,” Their teacher stepped forward. “Our bus just broke down. We’re from Middleborough in New Jersey, and I was wondering if I could ask your principal. We’re the class that’s here for the exchange program here. But our broken bus appears to have dashed our arrival to the hotel.”

“You’ll find Principal Duvall in his office, down three halls, left, right, right, and the second door in the right.” The student told the teacher.

“Thank you.” The teacher stepped away, and Jeremy’s class didn’t move an inch.

“Hello there.” The person said. “I’m Janis. Janis Sarkisian. And that’s—”

“Damian Hubbard, nice to meet you. Excuse me, but you have excellent coordination, and I love your sashay!” Damian said to Christine.

“Oh, thank you!” Christine did a deep bow.

“Just out of curiosity, have you seen Hello, Dolly—”

“Of course I have!” Christine said giddily.

“Oh my goodness, a fellow thespian.” Damian gasped flamboyantly.

“Breathe, Damian.” Janis gave him a pat. “And who might you all be?”

“I’m Christine! This is Jeremy, and that’s Michael.”

“Hi.” The boys waved awkwardly. The boys were never that good at new human interaction. The mind and body controlling super intelligent computer incident in their school didn’t exactly help that. Just give them trauma.

“Hello.” Janis said in a dangerous tone. It was almost as if she were a jungle cat, judging your every move and considering if you were safe. Or worthy enough to become her prey.

“Don’t mind Janis, she can be a bit edgy.” Damian pushed his friend back. “But I’m not! I’m as soft as can be! Except if you are my ex-theatre group and still salty that I had all the good roles because I was _talented _and _not _the director’s kids—”____

_____ _

_____ _

“Easy, Damian.” Janis said.

“What are you two doing?” A red head walked up to them with a tall kid, walking side by side.

“Nothing, Caddy, it’s fine.” Janis said.

“It doesn’t look fine. It looks like you’re about to burn these people to a crisp with your glare.”

“I’m not glaring.” Janis said defensively. “The sun’s in my eyes.”

“Yeah, and Gretchen’s hair is in mine.” ‘Caddy’ said. “Literally. I walked into her hair and I can still feel her shampoo burning my corneas.”

“That’s why her hair is so big.” Damian said. “It’s full of—”

“Secrets!” ‘Caddy’ finished for him. “Yes, I know Damian. You can stop telling me whenever I talk about her hair.”

“But it’s so much fun!” Damian said.

“Having vision loss due to exotic shampoo on the other hand, is not.” ‘Caddy’ wiped her eyes.

“Why are they?” The talk guy asked.

“You ask them.” Janis shrugged. “I’ve had enough talking already.”

“Is she going to rip us to shreds?” Michael asked Jeremy nervously.

“I’m too scared to know the answer to that.” Jeremy whispered.

“Relax you guys, Janis wouldn’t harm a fly.” The red head smiled. “Usually.”

“You forgot to introduce yourselves.” Janis said.

“Oh, right! I’m Cady Heron, and this is Aaron Samuels.” The red head smiled.

“Nice to meet you.” Aaron said.

“We’re the exchange class from, Middleborough,” Christine said. “I’m Christine, that’s Jeremy, Michael, Jake, Rick, Brooke, Madeline, Chloe, Jenna—”

“We’ll have plenty more time for introductions.” Janis said. “Right now, you could go on a grand tour.”

“Is it lunch period yet? Because I am super hungry and haven’t had anything to eat except for a burrito for breakfast.” Michael asked.

“It wasn’t even a burrito Michael, it was cheese wrapped in a tortilla.” Jeremy said.

“Breakfast is what you make it, man.”

“Are we going to tell them the story, Jamis?” Damian asked excitedly.

“Do you want to tell them the story, is the important question?” Janis raised an eyebrow.

“Is Elphaba green?” Damian said exasperatedly.

“Ok then.” Janis rolled her eyes. “Now bear with us, ‘cause this is the story that we usually tell freshman when they first arrive, so we have to change it up a bit.”

“You aren’t freshman, are you?” Cady asked.

“No, we’re juniors. But we have decent sized classes, it just ended up that we were some of the only people who wanted to go on exchange.” Jake said.

“Well then, on with the show.” Janis said. “I unfortunately don’t have my painting on me, as I usually bring it with me for first days only, but this will work.”

She pulled up a picture on her phone.

“Can everyone see this?” She asked.

The group nodded.

“All right. This is what I like to call ‘female power’.” She then turned her phone and showed everyone again.

A couple of ‘ooh’s’ went through the crowd.

“This is a picture of George Michael.” Damian pulled a framed picture out of his backpack.

“You carry that around all the time?” Cady asked, slightly concerned.

“Duh. It doesn’t do anything, but I like to carry it when I’m singing.” Damian shot her a look.

“And you sing all the time, so…” Cady nodded, understanding now.

“Anyways. This, my dear students, is a cautionary tale.” Damian said.

“One of fear, lust and pride. Based on _actual _events, where people have died!” Janis placed emphasis on the last word.__

____

____

“Stop telling them that someone died!” Damian chastised her.

“Dramatic flair. I thought you of all people would understand.”

“There is a _difference _when onstage and just being overdramatic.” Damian sighed. “Anyways. How far would _you _go to be popular and hot? Would you resist temptation?”____

_____ _

_____ _

Jeremy shifted uncomfortably, sudden visions of Mountain Dew running through his mind.

“No, you would not.” Janis said. Jeremy suddenly felt very attacked. It appeared Rich did as well.

“I don’t like this story.” Rich said.

“It’ll grow on you.” Damian reassured him, pulling a tambourine out of his backpack and starting to pick up a beat.

“Just admit it, sometimes mean is what you are. Mean is easier than nice. And though mean can take you far, maybe this will make you think twice.” Janis and Damian sung together (and Christine later said that they were killer harmonies, btw.)

“Kick, layout, flossy!” Damian suddenly exclaimed, doing various tap moves.

The duo continued. “This is a cautionary tale… About corruption and betrayal—”

“And getting hit by a bus!” Damian burst out.

“You can’t buy integrity, at the mall it’s not for sale.” Janis sang a power vocal.

“Nice!” Christine said.

“Thank you.” Janis smirked.

“This is a cautionary tale…” The two sang ominously.

“Our story begins in Africa, Africa!” Damian pointed behind him. “Huh. This worked better when we performed my handwritten stage drama of the life of Cady Heron and Co.. Oh well.”

“Is this how you’ve been introducing freshman to me?” Cady asked.

“Maybe.” Damian said quietly.

“Is this why everyone keeps looking at me like I’m so Broadway star?”

“Honey, you are a Broadway star!” Damian said, doing jazz hands. “Embrace it!”

“I’m a mathlete, not a Broadway star.” Cady said, pushing Damian’s jazz hands out of her face.

“Hold on, why are you here Aaron?” Janis asked.

“I can’t visit?” Aaron asked.

“In the middle of a school day?”

“I was taking a walk, and just so happened to pass by.”

“‘Just so happened to pass’ by my—”

“Please don’t swear in front of Michael or Christine.” Jake cut in.

“Dude, I swear all the time, what are you talking about?” Michael asked, offended.

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you said that.” Jake sniffed.

“Can we continue on with my story?” Damian asked.

“I’m not singing a solo, Damian…” Cady warned. “I haven’t warmed up today.”

“We’ll sum it up, since I don’t have the show choir to back me up. _Anyways _!”__

____

____

_“Can I _please _go to the bathroom before you continue!” Rich asked.___


	2. Theatre Kid Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine and Damian at heart, are ultimately theatre kids. No one else exactly understands what this means, but it scares them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not sure how this works but oh well. I also forgot to post a chapter yesterday and by the time I realized that, it was like, midnight. Oh well, just gives me an extra pre-written chapter I suppose. I also noticed a few typos already that slipped by and I am a bit upset, to say the least. 'Typos? In my fanfiction? It's more likely that you think. Click here to read to find out more! [Fic check!]'

“That was a wild ride.” Jeremy said after Janis and Damian finished their story.

“That was wonderful.” Christine said, dabbing at her eyes.

“Unrealistic. No one did any drugs.” Michael said.

“I’m convinced Karen’s on something 24/7.” Janis said.

“Karen’s on what?” A blonde girl approached them. She was wearing a silver glitter sequin vest, and looked like she saw the birth of the universe.

“A high.” Cady patted her shoulder.

“Definitely high.” Damian nodded.

“I am wearing my 4-inch heels today.” Karen said. “That means I’m 4 inches taller now.”

“Yes.” Janis said slowly.

“Is this the Karen Smith from the story?” Rich asked.

“The one and only.” Cady said.

“She really is rare.” Chloe snarked.

“Were you telling them the story about how Cady moved from here to Africa?” Karen asked.

“The other way around, Karen.” Damian said.

“They were telling you about how Cady moved from here to Africa?” Karen whispered.

“Sure they were.” Janis sighed.

“Wow, I didn’t know they knew it.” Karen said.

“Yeah.” Janis sighed. “Where’s Gretchen? She’s probably following you around, isn’t she?”

“Oh yeah, she just went. Over there.” Karen said.

“Doing what exactly?”

“I think that she was doing… Homework.”

“Are you doing homework?” Damian asked.

“I have homework?” Karen asked.

“You always have homework.” Janis sounded like she was concerned, but also tired, as if this was a normal thing that happened.

“I do?” Karen whispered.

“Do you know how to spell homework?” Damian asked.

“Home… Work…” Karen considered. “I’m going to see if Gretchen knows how to spell homework.”

“Is she always like that?” Jeremy asked.

“Always.” Cady said. “It can get exhausting sometimes, but she’s sweet. Just needs a little help here and there.”

“A lot of help.” Janis corrected.

“Anyways, the whole story is done much better when displayed on a stage in musical form compared to only my vocals.” Damian said.

“I do’t doubt that.” Christine said in awe. “I would love to see that.”

“You are absolutely wonderful and I need to perform with you.” Damian said.

“I would love that too!” Christine bounced.

“Do you have any idea what he’s saying most of the time?” Jeremy asked Janis.

“Absolutely not.” Janis shook her head. “Like, what’s theatre culture? Is it rude to ask what character you’d rather play? Or talk about how the cast is kind of terrible but you can’t say anything cause it’s insulting?”

“I know right!” Jeremy said exasperatedly. “It’s basically a different language! I have to listen to rants about Phantom of the Opera and _Cats _. I never thought I would unironically listen to a tangent about Cats, but I turned out to be very wrong.”__

__“What does ‘thespian’ even mean?” Janis threw her hands up._ _

__“Why are you asking me?” Jeremy grinned._ _

__Christine and Damian, having been wrapped up in their own little world about theatre, turn around slowly to look at their two friends. They stood in silence, visible disappointment stretching on their faces. They creep forward towards the two slowly, frowns forming on their already downcast faces._ _

__And then they attacked._ _

__At least, that’s what Jeremy imagined they would have done if they weren’t Christine and Damian, some of the softest people around._ _

__“HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A THESPIAN IS?!” Christine demanded._ _

__“Janis, you disappoint me!” Damian cried. “I can’t believe you never retain anything that has been said about theatre!”_ _

__“Bro, I can’t remember everything you say. It’s a lot. And you mostly do it in song, which is sometimes harder to remember than your rants I can pick up the main points cause you repeat them like, 20 times at least.” Janis said._ _

__“I have the songs on Spotify! It’s just the vocal tracks, but most of them are on there!” Damian said._ _

__“What’s your handle I need to know.” Christine whipped out her phone and began to type aggressively on it._ _

__“It’s toogaytofunction capital D capital H.” Damian said as if this was a common occurrence. “No spaces.”_ _

__“I’m following you now. I know I’ve only known you for like, 4 minutes, but I really think that wee should start a podcast just about musical theatre.”_ _

__“That is the best idea I’ve ever heard.” Damian said, emphasizing every word he said._ _

__“Ok you two, leave some time to talk for the rest of us.” Michael laughed._ _

__“Wait until you meet Gretchen Weiners.” Damian said. “Then you’ll really need to wait to talk.”_ _

__“That’s cause she never has enough time to say anything usually, so she takes what she can get.” Cady said._ _

__“She’s used to waiting for Regina to finish. And Regina talks sloowww.” Damian said._ _

__“Mostly cause it’s just about herself. And that’s boring.” Janis inspected her nails._ _

__“Are you guys friends now, or…?” Michael asked._ _

__“It’s… Iffy.” Cady shook her hand._ _

__“We… Compromise.” Janis said. “I flip her off way less often.”_ _

__“It’s still a lot. Mostly behind her back.”_ _

__“Girl got hit by a bus, gotta cut her some slack.”_ _

__“Yeah, by talking about her when she’s not wrong. Of course.” Damian said._ _

__“You get it!” Janis said._ _

__“All right class, Principal Duvall says that he can arrange a few buses to our hotel.” The Middleborugh class’ teacher approached the class._ _

__“Aw, we didn’t even get a tour.” Brooke said._ _

__“There’s plenty of time for that. Tomorrow’s Saturday, so you’ll have plenty of time to accustom yourselves to Evanston until the school week starts.”_ _

__“I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really excited for school to start.” Christine said. “Mostly to see what’s going on in the theatre department.”_ _

__“A lot of _salt _is what’s going on.” Damian crossed his arms.___ _

____“He got kicked out of the drama club because the other members were too jealous of his amazing tap dancing and zealous acting work. He got deep into character. One time he went around only speaking in Old English because he was in Macbeth and it was the worst weak of my entire life.” Janis said._ _ _ _

____Damian and Christine gasped loudly, cowering behind Michael and Jeremy._ _ _ _

____“You said the ‘m’ word.” Damian shuddered. “I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to avoid you for a month just to make sure a stage light doesn’t fall on me or something.”_ _ _ _

____“You’re being overdramatic.” Janis rolled her eyes._ _ _ _

____“ _I’m _being overdramatic?! I am the theatre kid! What am I supposed to be, a bad actor? No thank you!” Damian said. “The theatre club also kicked me out because I was annoying in general. And stole all of the leads.”___ _ _ _

______“He played Fiona in Shrek the Musical once.” Cady said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That was the best 5 bucks I ever spent.” Janis sighed. “Mostly because the girl who would have been cast as Fiona was the donkey. And she was pretty cute, for a person in a donkey costume.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ahem.” Damian cleared his throat._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And because Damian killed it.” Janis added._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes, thank you.” He said, tossing imaginary flowing locks over his shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Class, the bus is just out front, they’re pulling up now.” The teacher said, glancing at their watch._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, it was nice to meet you!” Michael said, heading out to the buses._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Same, nice to meet you!” Cady waved. The rest of the Northshore friends watched as the Middlborough visitors proceeded to the bus, and rolled away._ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Hotel Hijinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's new? The boys thrive in chaos. Some could say that they have no chill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was really fun to write lol

“So, how’s it going, Jeremy?”

“Dad, please, even if no one’s at home. _Wear. Pants. _” Jeremy groaned.__

__“C’mon, what’s the problem? You can’t complain about me not wearing them if you’re not here!”_ _

__“It’s human decency to put on pants, even if you’re alone.”_ _

__“Do you think girls have to wear pants when wearing dresses or skirts? What’s the difference?”_ _

__“You’re not wearing a dress or a skirt, though.”_ _

__“People wear t-shirt dresses all the time! Consider this mine.” Mr. Heere motioned to the stained white shirt he was wearing._ _

__“When did you last wash that?” Jeremy asked, slightly concerned._ _

__“Just got this out of the laundry!” His dad replied._ _

__“Do you not use stain remover?”_ _

__“Doesn’t work anymore.” Mr. Heere shrugged._ _

__“Ok…”_ _

__“Now, tell me more about Evanston! And show me around your cushy hotel.”_ _

__“Well, we’ve gotta bunk in fours, and it’s not the fanciest. Not the worst though.” Jeremy spun around slowly._ _

__“How’s the view?”_ _

__Jeremy whipped open the curtain and turned his phone._ _

__“Ah, a lovely brick wall I see!”_ _

__“Yep.” Jeremy scoffed slightly._ _

__“Yo Jakey D! What scent is your shampoo?” Rich burst out of the bathroom._ _

__“Rich! Put clothes on!” Jeremy said, slamming his hand over his eyes._ _

__“Nah dude.” Rich pointed finger guns._ _

__“Dad, I’ll call you back in the morning. When it’s not so chaotic.”_ _

__“With you boys? There’s no way it’ll be any different.” His dad chuckled. “See you later Jeremy! Don’t stay up too late! And don’t take the contents of random shoeboxes from strangers!”_ _

__“Haha, very funny Dad.” Jeremy rolled his eyes and ended the call._ _

__“Seriously, Jake. What scent is your shampoo? I love it.” Rich said. “Oh, also I’m stealing your shampoo now.”_ _

__“It’s Passionfruit Punch.” Jake said. “Have you tried the conditioner? I’m not saying that Coconut Cream is the best conditioner scent out there, but I’m also saying that.”_ _

__“Yo! You have conditioner!” Rich exclaimed._ _

__“It’s behind the body lotion.”_ _

__“How many condiments did you bring?” Michael asked, pausing his music._ _

__“Condiments?” Jake asked._ _

__“Are we not talking about mustard?” Michael asked._ _

__“We’re talking about toiletries.”_ _

__“Oh. Marley’s loud, man.”_ _

__“I can hear it from here.” Jeremy said, flopping down on the pullout couch and messing with the TV remote. “You’re going to go deaf if you keep blasting it that loud.”_ _

__“I’ve gotta vibe, man.” Michael said, putting his headphones back on. “Catch ya later!”_ _

__Quiet beats of Bob Marley drifted from his headphones as Michael bobbed his head, and Jeremy switched the TV channel._ _

__“Ooh, a nature documentary!” Jake said. “Boring!”_ _

__“Well, what do you wanna watch?” Jeremy asked. “And don’t even say p—”_ _

__“Puppy Bowl!” Jake shouted as Jeremy flipped through the channels._ _

__“Fine, we’ll watch a rerun of the Puppy Bowl.”_ _

__“Puppy Bowl?” Rich poked his head out of the bathroom._ _

__“Watch it when you’re done and have clothes on.” Jeremy said._ _

__“You just can’t handle all of the amazing Rich Goranski.”_ _

__“All of your ego.” Jeremy sniggered._ _

__Jake fist bumped him. “Nice.”_ _

__“I can hear you guys!”_ _

__“Not over your ego!” Jeremy and Jake shouted back._ _

__“Eggs?” Michael pulled his headphones off again._ _

__“We’re watching the Puppy Bowl Michael, you want to join us?” Jeremy asked._ _

__“Do I drive a BT Cruiser?”_ _

__“You rode a bus here.” Jake said._ _

__“Unrelated.” Michael sat down on the couch. “Is that a labradoodle—”_ _

__“That’s a cockapoo, you fake dog fan.” Jake said._ _

__“Oh, gatekeeping dogs now, huh?”_ _

__“Jeremy, do you have a problem with people not wearing clothes?” Rich crashed onto the couch._ _

__“My legs!” Jake cried._ _

__“Oh my gosh dude, are you ok?” Rich panicked._ _

__“Nah, I’m all good. Just messin’.” Jake smirked, leaning back with his hands behind his head._ _

__“Bro.” Rich smacked the back of Jake’s head. “I seriously thought I like, broke your legs again.”_ _

__“A little guy like you? No way.”_ _

__“Bro, I’ll take you right now—”_ _

__As Rich and Jake squabbled, Michael and Jeremy began to fall asleep. They had been riding in a bus for the majority of the morning from the airport and were now exhausted._ _

__When everyone awoke, the boys were sprawled in various positions on the couch._ _

__“Get your foot out of my face.” Jeremy felt somebody shove his foot._ _

__“What?” He mumbled, stretching slightly._ _

__“Ow!” Michael yelped. “Glasses!”_ _

__“Sorry.” Jeremy said. He looked behind him to see his feet in Jake’s face. Jake was scowling at this fact._ _

__“It was bad enough that Rich _punches _in his sleep, but you kick? Unbelievable.” Jake said.___ _

____“There are beds, you know.”_ _ _ _

____“We didn’t tell you that when you passed out on the couch, did we?” Jake rubbed his eyes._ _ _ _

____“Well…” Jeremy raised a finger to try and make a point, but couldn’t think of anything. “Fine.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m _starving _.” Rich said.___ _ _ _

______“This hotel better have a waffle iron or I’m not staying here.” Jake said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You can’t stay anywhere else?” Michael questioned._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ve got money.” Jake sniffed. “I can rent an apartment. Heck, I could get my own waffle iron!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“1, this is Chicago suburbs, no you can’t. And 2, airline security would _not _let you are a waffle iron onto the plane with you, so you’d have to leave it behind.” Michael said.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Darn it. I want waffles.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Waffles and pancakes taste the same.” Jeremy pointed out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The other boys gained gleams in their eyes, mostly ones that looked evil._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Say that again.” Rich dared him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“My fists beg to say otherwise.” Jake cracked his knuckles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Listen, you’re my best bud, but I _will _fight you.” Michael said.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ok, ok!” Jeremy said. “They’re not the same! I just said they tasted—”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Keep talking.” Rich said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nevermind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“That’s right.” Jake said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“If you keep goading me I will fight you, though.” Jeremy said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh no, the skinny white boy is going to fight us!” Rich said dramatically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You guys are impossible.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah we are!” The boys fist bumped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Jeremy rolled his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________A knock came from the door of their room and the boys exchanged glances._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________More rapid knocks came._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ah, Christine.” All the boys nodded, and Jeremy went to open the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Good morning!” Christine said giddily. “Jeremy, you look horrible.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Thanks.” He said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I mean—Agh, sorry.” Christine smiled apologetically. “But you look like you didn’t sleep much.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I didn’t.” Jeremy admitted. “I don’t think most of us did either. I kicked Jake in the face a lot, I hear.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Were you all passed out on the couch?” Christine looked past Jeremy where the rest of the boys were sitting, now all chilling on their phones._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yep.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I had a horrible night’s sleep.” Christine said. “Why are hotel beds so firm? And like, why do they smell so clean? It’s unnatural. You know, the smell of a bed really affects me, and I never really noticed before. But when I’m not in my own bed, it smells really weird, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah.” Jeremy smiled. “Uh, do you want to come in and not stand out in the hallway?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________‘Oh, yeah!” Christine said. “Well, not right now. We’re getting ready to go to breakfast before the line closes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It closes at 10:00.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What time is it?” Jeremy asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Around 9:28.” Christine said. She glanced at her phone. “9:32.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Guys!” Jeremy called. “The breakfast line is gonna close in 28 minutes!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The boys all sprang up from the couch and ran to the closet to find clothes that weren’t pajamas simultaneously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Give us five minutes.” Jeremy said. Christine waved and went to her room, and Jeremy closed the door behind her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Move it losers, I call bathroom first!” Jake said, pushing past Rich and Michael._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No fair!” Rich pounded on the locked door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I think it’s totally fair! Alphabetical, you know?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Why is your name alphabetical no matter which way you say the names?” Rich scowled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well, depends. What’s your middle name?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Personal information!” Rich flushed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Is it bad? Huh?” Michael teased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Shut up, man!” Rich said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Come on dude, tell me!” Michael said. “I promise I won’t tell anybody else!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Why don’t you ask me for my social security number, huh?” Rich said. “It’s personal information for a reason!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well, I’ll tell you my middle name.” Michael shrugged. “It’s—”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Guys, I just had a brilliant idea!” Jake threw the bathroom door open, scaring Jeremy. Which, it would’ve scared anyone if they were standing behind a door when it flew open._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ow!” Jeremy said, clutching his nose._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh….” Jake said. “That’s gotta hurt.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You think?!” Jeremy said. “Is it bleeding? Ow, that hurts…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yep, bleeding.” Michael said, grabbing a few tissues and shoving them in Jeremy’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Thanks.” Jeremy said. “Thanks to you too, _Jake _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sorry.” Jake winced. “Didn’t realize you were there.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What was your ‘brilliant idea’?” Jake asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Halloween.” Jake said. “Costume idea. And it’s amazing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What is it?” Michael asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“We go: As a row of a Kit Kat bar.” Jake said, putting his hands apart like there was a rainbow between them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What?” Everyone except Jake said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Think of it! There’s four of us! And four rows in a Kit Kat bar! It’s simple, but if we put a wrapper thing around us it’s easy to know what we’re going for!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Let’s do it!” Rich said, at the same time Jeremy shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No.” Jeremy said. “That’s… No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Party popper.” Jake hissed. “Also, whoever wants to use the bathroom next can.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I think _I _should go next cause you broke my nose.” Jeremy volunteered.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s not broken! You’re not writhing in pain or screaming or crying. Trust me, I know what it’s like to have something broken.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Maybe I have a higher pain tolerance than you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Rich punched him in the shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Ow!” Jeremy exclaimed. “Why is today ‘Hurt Jeremy Day’?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You don’t have a higher pain tolerance than Jake.” Rich shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“And why do you say that? Where’s your proof?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Watch this.” Rich raised his fist to Jake’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He waited for a second, then punched him on the shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“that was way weaker than you punched me! Unfair!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Overruled.” Jake said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Why… How is that overruled?” Michael asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Because I am alphabetically superior to all of you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Jeremy glanced at his phone that had flashed, which was a text from Christine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________9:45… Are you guys cobming? _  
_Combing _ **  
_*Coming _ ****__**______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________**__**“Guys, 15 minutes until the breakfast line closes!” Jeremy said.** _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________**__**The boys scrambled out of their room at the thought of missing breakfast.** _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________**__**Luckily, for everyone’s sake, but mostly Jake’s sanity and wallet, the hotel did have a waffle iron.** _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________**__**Then he decided to test how much waffle batter he and Rich could fit inside it, and promptly broke it.** _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________**__**Rich owed him 10 bucks though.** _ _ ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. Northshore Tour Guides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad at having long chapters cause I have to end them before I just have the character's ramble forever, so I end up with short word counts.  
> Also I've decided to update these every other day instead of daily so then I can have even *more* extra chapters ready (or catch a breather).

“Why are we stuck on tour guide duty?” Janis sighed.

“Because we’re so peppy?” Damien offered. He was met with a deep scowl from Janis. “Never mind.”

“At least the kids aren’t unbearable.” Janis picked a piece of lint off of Damian’s pink shirt.

“Wow, coming from you, that could be a compliment. The greatest compliment ever.” Cady said.

“Well, they can prove me wrong. We have a whole semester with them. Or more if they choose to prove themselves to be extra annoying to us.”

“It’s too bad they can’t stay for long, they seem like a nice class.” Cady said, hoisting a hand painted banner above the gymnasium doors.

“I like Christine. Like Christine Daae, but not obsessed with a French societally rejected man.” Damian said.

“You know we don’t understand your references, so why do you continue?” Janis asked.

“Because I’m hoping that one day you’ll catch on.”

“Today is not that day.”

“Janis, do you think it’ll stay?” Cady asked.

“…No.”

On her cue, the banner fell off of it’s hook and one end fluttered down to the floor. The other half followed soon after.

“We tried.” Janis shrugged.

“Where’s another tall person when you need one?” Cady sighed.

“Too bad Aaron doesn’t go here still, he’s tall.” Damian said.

“We’ll have to work it out. I’ll switch with you Cady, hold the ladder.” Janis directed.

“You don’t like heights.”

“Your arms look tired. Plus you’ve been working on this for a half hour, and your end keeps falling, so I’m assuming your missing a knot or something.”

“Probably. I learned how to make big knots, but things like banner ties are much different than rope.”

“Damian, lift it up again.” Janis said, shakily climbing up the ladder and securing the banner again.

The banner stayed this time, and Janis sighed. “Everything good on your end?” Janis asked.

“Looks secure!” Damian gave a thumbs up.

“Great, then I can get now.” Janis gulped. “Nevermind I’m staying here forever.”

“Come on, it’s four feet, you can do it!” Cady urged.

“Which is more than half tall I am. I am not moving. Death will meet me.”

“Janis, please. You can’t stay there forever.”

“Watch me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll sing you cheery show tunes to encourage you to come down!” Damian said.

Janis quickly climbed down the ladder without even glancing at the ground. “Nope, you don’t have to do that.”

“Aw.” Damian said sadly.

“We’ve got 10 minutes until the official tour starts up, what do we do now?” Cady asked.

“We wallow in our misery.” Janis said.

At the same time, Damian said, “Form a kick line!”

“While I would love to form a kick line, I can’t kick, and I don’t really want to wallow in misery.” Cady smiled. “So we can just rest for now.”

“That works.” Janis and Damian nodded.

“Did I ever tell you what happened at the party I threw?” Cady asked, sliding down a cold locker.

“The one you didn’t invite us to?” Janis asked.

“Yeah, that one.” Cady rolled her eyes.

“Listen, I’m just a little salty that I wasn’t invited to the only party you ever threw.”

“You don’t even like parties.”

“I like revenge parties.” Janis said.

“Those are different. And we didn’t even have cake. Or good chips.”

“Please don’t tell me that your parents are the ones that have only vegetable chips.” Damian said.

“They are.” Cady sighed.

Damian shuddered. “Horrific.”

“Believe me, I know. I only managed to convince my parents to get me a carrot cake for my birthday because carrots were in it.”

“We’re getting a cake for you, then.” Damian said.

“Now tell us about the party, we’re getting distracted.” Janis said.

“I think Damian got the gist of it in his musical, but I’ll recap. Uh, somebody broke out the alcohol. It’s kind of fuzzy, but people just started flooding in, and somebody was blasting music—”

“Kevin.” Janis and Damian nodded.

“Probably.” Cady laughed. “But Gretchen gave me a shot of something and I thought it was water, so I got out of it. But then Aaron came, and tipsy out of my mind, I stumbled up to my room. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but Aaron said something about me losing myself to the dark side, and I remember thinking that I should have thought things out more thoroughly.”

“Don’t quote Star Wars or whatever, you haven’t seen all of them.” Damian told her.

“That wasn’t from Star Wars.” Janis said.

“Well, it’s vague, but it sounds like something from Star Wars. I know theatre.”

“Do they have a Star Wars musical?”

“Do they?” Damian asked, whipping out his phone to Google it.

“You can find out later, the class is here!” Cady said suddenly, standing up.

Damian and Janis stood up as well and took position, looking like soldiers.

“Welcome to Northshore High!” Damian said loudly, spreading his arms out dramatically and smacking Janis and Cady in the face.

“Spiffy.” Jake said, his shoes squeaking on the just-cleaned floor.

“Jenna, selfies.” Chloe directed, posing in front of the banner with her phone in hand.

“Might we get on with the tour?” Janis asked, clearly not willing to tolerate interruptions for selfies.

“Fine, we can go now.” Chloe said, swiping through her picture. “Jenna has her eyes closed in all of them, but that’s fine.”

“Wait a minute!” Jenna said, trying to look at Chloe’s phone, but they started to move on.

“This here is the gymnasium.” Janis said. “Most notable for smelling like old socks, and basketball teams thinking their the most amazing sports team here.”

“Well, who is the most amazing sports team here?” Jake asked.

“How would I know?” Janis shrugged.

“Well then.” Rich said. “Guess no one’s good enough for you, huh?”

“I’ll make ‘em better.” Jake smirked.

“Can transfer students join the sports team?” Jeremy asked.

“I guess I’ll just have to commit some crimes then, huh?”

“Stop. No crimes.” Michael said.

“Crimes.” Jake and Rich nodded.

“Not in association with me.” Janis said. “You can commit crimes when I’m not around.”

“All I hear is approval for crimes.” Rich rubbed his hands together.

“Stop, please.” Christine sighed.

“Crimes, crimes, crimes, crimes!” Rich and Jake began to chant.

“Do you think we’re going to get through this tour without any crimes by the end?” Cady asked.

“Do you?” Damian asked.

“No.”


	5. And Starbucks Venti Chai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I managed to throw in multiple Beetlejuice references and now my friends finally understand them. Or at least the ones you can get off of the soundtrack. I see this as a win either way.

"And finally, the exit. You'll want to run for these when the school day is over." Damian said, leading the tour through the main door once again.

"It's nice." Jeremy said.

"It's a school, we'll get tired of it and want to pull out a match and set it on flames it down soon enough." Jake shrugged.

"Don't throw the 'f' word around, dude." Rich shivered.

"Sorry." Jake said.

"I'm really feeling like a Starbucks. A Frappuccino has not been on my Instagram feed in 48 hours and it's desperately pleading for one." Chloe said, tapping on her phone. "Where's the nearest one?"

"About a 10 minute walk from here." Cady said. "I'll show you the way, I need a venti chai right about now."

"I want black coffee." Janis said. "I need like, 16 shots of espresso after being here after school hours."

"I want a pink drink!" Damian announced.

"Then I guess we're all going to Starbucks?" Brooke asked.

Jake, Rich, Jeremy and Michael shrugged, and Christine nodded excitedly.

"I don't have to practice vocals, so I can have dairy." She said, a bit over enthusiastically. "I want hot chocolate."

"Starbucks it is then." Jeremy said, taking Christine's hand and following the group out of the school. He noted that Christine was visibly shaking at the thought of fairy consumption. He hoped she would have almond milk and not have her lactose intolerance hinder her for the rest of the weekend.

"I'm feeling risky today." She said.

"Not lactose."

"No, I want soy milk." She said, tapping her chin. "But with real whipped cream."

"That'll work." Jeremy sighed.

"What are you going to get?" Christine asked, swinging their arms between them.

"Probably a latte."

"Can I taste it?" She batter her eyelashes up at him.

"Sure." He chuckled.

"Yay!" Christine squealed to herself.

"Michael, what are you gonna get?" Jeremy asked.

"Huh? Nothing to drink. Probably a cake pop."

"Do you have old school soft drinks on hand?" Jeremy asked.

"I had one of those big bottles on the ride over, but had to ditch it at the airport. I drank it all by then anyways. Too bad a back room in Spencer's Gifts doesn't really exist here."

"Does it have to be clear?" Jeremy asked. "Just drink regular Pepsi."

"It has to be clear." Michael said adamantly. "I don't drink things any other way."

"How came you're anyways complaining about your full bottle of water getting warm then?"

"It's not as tasty."

"It's water."

"I'm walking through the drive thru, see you losers later." Janis said.

"Is that legal?" Rich asked.

"Not sure." Jake said.

"Heck yeah, then I'm doing it too!" Rich said, breaking off from the group to get behind a silver sedan.

"Oh, now I know why she didn't want to come inside." Cady said, pausing with her hand on the door.

"Why?" Damian asked, glancing inside. "Ohh..."

"What's up?" Brooke asked.

"See the two blondes and the brunette in there?" Damian asked, pointing to a window farther away.

"Are those the Plastics?" Christine asked, pressing her face close to the glass.

"The very same." Cady nodded.

"Is Regina George really pure evil?" Michael asked.

"Yes, she is." Janis approached them again with a dejected lookin Rich.

"They kicked us out of the drive thru." He said, kicking a pebble through the parking lot.

"Don't take it personally, they always do. It hasn't changed." Janis sighed.

"So, Reina George, huh?" Jake asked.

"You don't want to date her." Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say I wanted to!"

"You want to date everybody."

"Not everybody—"

"Close enough, now let's go inside please." Michael ushered the group in. "I'm tied of loitering."

"Fine, fine." Janis said. "Don't make eye contact. You will turn to stone."

"Cady, Janis, Damian." The legendary blonde strolled up to them. "It's so lovely to see you."

"I would't say the same, bye," Janis brushed past her.

"Always persnickety." Regina sighed.

"With good reason." Cady pointed out.

"I suppose." She brushed her hair out of a flyaway. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a Starbucks, what aren't we doing here?" Damian asked.

"Committing crimes?

"Think again!" Rich said.

"Ah, the new crew." Regina sniffed. "A pleasure, I'm sure."

"No." Everyone said.

"Hi." Karen walked up to them. "I've met you before."

"Yes, you have." Damian said.

"Is Janis saving a spot in line for us or is she just ordering a coffee for herself?" Cady asked.

"It's Janis."

"Oh, right. Get in line if you want something then." Cady said.

"Get me a cake pop." Michael told Jeremy. "There's no way I'm standing in that horrible line."

"I'll stay here too. Keep everyone company!" Christine said.

"What am I, your errand boy?" Jeremy rolled his eyes.

"Yep." Michael said.

"What flavor do you want?"

"Surprise me."

"I'll surprise you by not getting your one."

"That better be sarcasm, mister—"

Jeremy waved him off and stood in line, taking in the smell of the Starbucks. Coffee shops smelled nice, he noticed, but he preferred it when in a local store. The Starbucks always reeked of industry and corporation.

Some of his friends preferred when the coffee was nearby or inside a bookstore, so they could sniff the good old book smell. Jeremy found this disgusting. Who wants to smell old books while drinking coffee?

There are two kinds of people. Old book smell people, and new car smell people. Jeremy, personally, was a new car person. Mostly because his car smelled like old burgers and hot dogs. He didn't mind the smell of French fries, but the others kind of turned him away from the thought of ever eating in a car again.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The girl at the cash register asked.

Jeremy shook his thoughts away and smiled slightly. "A grande hot chocolate with soy milk, extra whipped cream but not too much, lactose intolerance."

The girl nodded and added this to the register.

"Uhh, what flavors of cake pops do you have?"

"Well we've got chocolate, banana, oat bran, pecan, we're out of our Girl Scout flavored ones that were Samoas and thin mints, and one that tastes like apple pie." The girl peered over to the display case. "We had a lemon-lime pound cake one that was good, but it's all sold out now."

"Ah, too bad." Jeremy said. "I'll take a chocolate."

"Will that be all?"

"A large caramel macchiato, no espresso. That's it. Uh, name's Jeremy."

"Coming right up." The girl smiled.

Jeremy nodded and said thank you, and stood next to Rich at the pick up portion of the counter.

"I told them to surprise me." Rich grinned.

"Watch it turn out to be liquid jalapeño peppers." Jeremy laughed.

"Bro, I'll drink it all." Rich had a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"You might die or lose internal organs from sheer burning pain, but sure."

Rich seemed to still think this was a good idea after that comment, and Jeremy just shook his head.

"Vanilla latte for Rich?" A barista called out.

"A what?!" Rich exclaimed.

"Ask for a random, you might get the most vanilla things. Literally, this time." Jake snickered.

"I'll jump up and hang off you like a basket ball hoop." Rich threatened.

"Sure, try." Jake cocked his head with a daring grin.

Rich muttered to himself and took his drink, and let out a loud exclamation. "Hot!"

"Your insides are burning! Just like if it was jalapeño peppers!"

"Shut up, Jake!" Rich said. "Hot!"

"Don't tell me you're gonna do it again—" Jeremy was interrupted when Rich took another swig of the freshly steamed vanilla drink in his hands.

"Still hot!" Rich said.

Jake was hiding his face in his hands, visibly shaking with laughter. Jeremy wouldn't have been surprised if he started rolling around on the floors soon.

"Order for Jeremy?" The barista called out.

"Thanks." Jeremy said, taking the two drinks and balancing the cake pop nestled in a napkin on top.

"If you drop my cake pop, I can't be friends with you anymore." Michael told him.

"I'm paying for it, why would that affect you?"

"You are? Sweet!" Michael said, taking the cake pop from Jeremy.

"Christine?" Jeremy asked, taking a turn to sniff which drink was which. "This one's yours."

"Yay!" Christine said. "Did you get—"

"Extra whipped cream, yeah."

"You're the best!" Christine gave him a tight hug, before taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

Jeremy smiled, then looked around the rest of the Starbucks. Everyone was hanging out in their own little clique, but it still felt cozy in the friendly atmosphere.

Maybe with some new people, but it truly felt like the environment was full of friends. A nicer, smaller get together than any party had ever been. Particularly Jake's Halloween party.

But the feeling quickly drained away when Regina George huffed, flipped her hair and stormed out of the building with her lackeys—Er, friends, leaving behind a scowling Chloe Valentine.


	6. Grab the Chips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping it short and simple. Would prefer to keep all of the chapter's over 1k, but since this is just a little thing that I don't know where I'm going with half the time, I'll have to deal.  
> I'm a little late with this update because... I forgot about it earlier. Yeah, that's it.   
> Anyways. I also insert a Heathers reference, simply because I can. I am an unstoppable force.  
> Until I have writer's block. Yeah.

“I’m telling you, I don’t know what happened!” Janis recalled the story to Aaron. “She just went like, ‘ugh!’ and stomped out! Surprised she didn’t break a heel or something.”

“What go her so riled up?” Aaron asked, as Cady messed with his hair.

“One of the new girls. Reminded me of her, actually… Huh.”

“I believe you said something like, ‘no, another one!’” Cady said, finishing off a small braid in Aaron’s hair. It didn’t stay long, but she deemed it cute for a second.

“So she’s a carbon copy?” Aaron asked.

“More like a poorly done clone.” Janis sighed. “She wishes she could be Regina George.”

“Everyone wishes they could be Regina George. _I _wish I could be Regina George.” Damian said dramatically, flopping down on the couch.__

__“The only thing I’m jealous of about her is that she can walk in stilettos without failing once.” Cady said._ _

__“You rock the Converse, babe.” Aaron said, resting his head on her shoulder._ _

__“Thanks, I try.”_ _

__“Ugh, disgusting.” Janis said._ _

__“The hetero-ness.” Damian said._ _

__“Oh to have a relationship at all.”_ _

__“The closest I’ll get is to the fling at summer acting camp.” Damian sighed._ _

__Cady started to ask, “The one where you—”_ _

__“Please,” Damian held his hand up. “Don’t recall my foolish mistakes to me. At least out of song form.”_ _

__“If I pull up your song on Spotify, will you at least tell me if this is the right story?” Cady asked._ _

__“Maybe.”_ _

__The beginning vocals of Damian’s hit song, _Stop _, started to play.___ _

____“That one.” He said pitifully. He then began to sing along with his voice._ _ _ _

____“All right, cheer up. At least you got a couple thousand plays out of your song.”_ _ _ _

____“They had to endure Karen saying her lines, that I had to reshoot 47 different times. I hope I got that much out of it.”_ _ _ _

____“You wrote a play out of a year in our high school lives, I think you’re going somewhere.” Janis said._ _ _ _

____“Someday, I’ll go all the way to Broadway! Or at least off-Broadway. And then I’ll get kicked out of the original cast, so I won’t be the official voice of the OBC and die alone and miserable, wishing I could have pursued that summer camp relationship a bit longer. Or that he had answered to my edible arrangements basket.” Damian added mournfully, “ _Phillip _...”___ _ _ _

______“Cheer up Damian, there’s plenty of guys out there.” Aaron said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Says the one in a happy and healthy relationship.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You got me there.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m hungry, Damian, where’s your snacks hiding today?” Janis asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Unlike Cady’s sad pantry, I have many different flavors of chips in my pantry. Sour cream and onion, cheddar cheese and sour cream, barbecue, Doritos, dill pickle, plain, plain but wavy, tortilla, chili—”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I get the gist.” Janis said. “Still don’t know where they are.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“In the pantry.” Damian said. “Thought I’d spice it up and make it a clear spot.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh. Be right back.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“So, what did you think of the new kids as a whole?” Aaron asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If they can get Regina flustered? Scary.” Damian said. “But overall, they seem pretty chill.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, they seem nice. Guess we’ll get to know them better as time goes by, though.” Cady said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I won’t.” Aaron shrugged. “Maybe we can hang out afterwards, though.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe.” Cady smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You two are so gross.” Janis said as she came back into the room, mouth stuffed with the chips of the bag she held in her arms._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thanks?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Damian, you’re low on dill pickle chips now.” Janis said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I didn’t like those ones anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I do, and you keep them stocked for me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, I do.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“So, what movie are we planning on watching?” Aaron asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The Princess Bride.” Damian said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Really? Don’t your have that thing memorized by now?” Janis piped up._ _ _ _ _ _

______Damian gasped loudly, causing Janis to drop her chips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you ok? Do you need CPR? Cause I am not giving you CPR.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did you just quote _Heathers?! _” Damian asked.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“No…? This is just the millionth time that we’ve watched The Princess Bride this week?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You know, if you put a wig on, you’d look like Veronica Sawyer. Or at least Barret Wilbert Weed…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re not getting a wig on me. You’d only catch me in one of those stupid 80’s uniforms if I were dead.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Dead Girl Walking.” Damian muttered under his breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What’d you just call me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“So!” Cady interrupted. “The Princess Bride?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“The Princess Bride.” Damian nodded solemnly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	7. Old School, School’s Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael Mell loved Nintendogs with all of his heart and you can’t tell me otherwise.

Jeremy wished school didn’t exist.

He signed up for the exchange class because all of his other friends were, and then he’d end up lonely. Then he’d also have to use the ‘my girlfriend goes to another school, as of lately’. He would _not _be using that. He’d used it once and that was in middle school, and then everyone laughed at him.__

__“Yeah, no.” He muttered to himself._ _

__“What’s wrong with Nintendogs?!” Michael demanded._ _

__“N-Nothing!” Jeremy snapped out of his thoughts. The bus ride was longer than his normal transit from walking or riding to his regular school, and he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night prior. Thanks Rich. He just had to blast the heavy metal songs last night. He just. Had to._ _

__“Sorry, thinking about something else.” Jeremy shook his head. “What were you talking about?”_ _

__“Classic DS games, what else?” Michael leaned back._ _

__“Ah yes, Michael Mell, old school aficionado.”_ _

__“You know it! You had a DS, right?”_ _

__“Uh…”_ _

__“Don’t tell me you didn’t have a DS.”_ _

__“I—I did!” Jeremy said. “I just… Lost it.”_ _

__“How’d you lose it?”_ _

__“Not sure. That’s how I lost it.”_ _

__“Oh.”_ _

__“Yeah. I had an NES though!”_ _

__“That’s the spirit! Favorite game?”_ _

__“Mario Kart, obviously.”_ _

__“Yeah man!”_ _

__“I only had a DS to play Pokémon Diamond on.” Christine leaned over the seat in front of her, propping herself up next to Michael._ _

__“Starter?”_ _

__“Piplup.” Christine twirled her hair around her finger. “It was round and blue. And a penguin. I liked him. I made him perfect poffins.”_ _

__“Only the best for your best buddy.” Michael nodded._ _

__“Jeremy, are you ok?” Christine asked. “You keep looking like you haven’t sleepened in weeks.”_ _

__“Sleepened?” Jeremy asked._ _

__“Do-Don’t change the subject!” Christine flushed._ _

__“Sure, sure. But nope. Rich was blasting heavy metal last night for like, 4 hours, so didn’t get a lot.”_ _

__“You really need noise cancelling headphones.” Michael said, placing his over Jeremy’s ears._ _

__“What?” Jeremy called at Michael mouthing something at him, and he couldn’t hear anything. He guessed it was the noise cancelling part of the noise cancelling headphones, but it also could have been Bob Marley blasting at max volume._ _

__Michael took the headphones off of Jeremy, and he still had ringing in his ears._ _

__“How are you _not _deaf?” He asked.___ _

____“I don’t put ’em on usually. Just hang ‘em around my neck and play it loud enough that I can hear it from there.” Michael shrugged._ _ _ _

____“Well then why did you put them on me?”_ _ _ _

____“To make a point.”_ _ _ _

____“The only noise cancelling thing I heard was Bob Marley.”_ _ _ _

____“Great, right?”_ _ _ _

____“You should listen to Phantom of the Opera.” Christine turned around to lean upside down over the seat. “Give Mr. Bob Marley a little break.”_ _ _ _

____“I _could _, but why mess with perfection, you know?”___ _ _ _

______“Listen to Phantom of the Opera.” Christine dragged out a whisper as she leaned back into her seat, out of view._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Tonight, turn Marley all the way up and give me some headphones. I won’t say anything if I can just block everything out. Might as well annoy Rich in the process.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sweet!” Michael said. “I will do as you command, captain.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Call me Captain Crunch. I didn’t have breakfast.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Jeremy!” Christine popped up again to scold him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What? I slept in a little too late and only just managed to catch the bus.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Take this.” Christine shoved a granola bar in her boyfriend’s face._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why do you just have granola bars in your bag?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sometimes I forget to eat breakfast myself. Bought a couple at the airport since I couldn’t bring any on the plane, and just shoved them into my backpack in case it happened again.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“How often does that happen?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“More often than you’d think.” Christine said. “I also have water bottles, pads, tampons, a notebook, pencils, charger chord, portable phone charger, fidget spinners, stuffed animal—Hey, I was wondering where this beanie baby went!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Where do you keep your school work?” Jeremy asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“In this backpack.” Christine hauled another backpack into view, that looked like it was stuffed to the brim with loose paper, color coded folders, highlighters, and sticky notes._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How strong are you?” Michael asked, leaning away from her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You get a workout from choreography and carrying 15 pounds around almost all day!” Christine smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______“ _15 _pounds?” Michael and Jeremy echoed.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yep!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She’s a superhuman.” Michael whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah…” Jeremy leaned against his hand, propping himself up on his elbow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You are sooo in love.” Michael snickered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re still my favorite person.” Jeremy pouted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Is it weawwy twue dat I’m stiww youw favowite pewson?” Michael teased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Jeremy only rolled his eyes, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Northshore High come into view._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ugh, school.” Michael said, slinging one of his backpack straps over his shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“At least we don’t have any homework to turn in.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But we _do _have a whole new schedule and school to memorize.” Christine groaned. “I barely got the other one down. Just last week I forgot where my home room was.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Let’s hope it’s not too tricky to get down.” Jeremy said. “And we have most of the same classes since we’re exchange students, so you’ll have people to help you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah.” Christine bobbed her head side to side. “The way you put it, it sounds more fun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’re always fun!” Michael said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sure.” Christine smiled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Wait, wait?” Michael looked at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nothing!” She waved him off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No, continue that thought.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well, we’re here! Don’t wanna be late!” Christine said, lugging he backpacks with her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“How does she not have scoliosis?” Michael wondered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“The ADHD makes he change her posture when she’s sitting, like, every minute.” Jeremy said. “And I’m pretty sure that’s not how scoliosis works.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sounds rough in school.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh yeah, she talks about it all the time. Wants to advocate for making school more compatible for people with learning disabilities..”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You sure got lucky, huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m the lucky one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah… Yeah you are.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	8. That’s So Fetch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a few minutes before midnight, I've technically updated it every other day still, haven't broken the streak yet.  
> I haven't worked on this fic for two days in a row however, and as the holiday that I celebrate grows closer, I think that I'll be putting this fic on hold, at least until Christmas or the New Year's passed.  
> Thanks for sticking around!

“Ew, there’s gum under this desk!” Chloe grimaced, quickly removing her hand and staring in disgust at her fingers.

“What’s your hand doing under the desk?” Jenna asked.

“Putting my gum there, duh.”

The classroom door opened, revealing two blonds and a brunette.

“Um, hey, you might wanna move.” The brunette said to her.

“Why?” She leaned her shoulder on her chair.

“This is Regina’s desk. She doesn’t move desks. See? This is hers.” The girl pointed to an ‘R.G.’ scratched onto the corner of the desk.

“R. G. could stand for anybody, not this Regina loser.” Chloe pushed the girl’s hand away. “Tell Regina that this is my seat now.”

One of the blondes stomped towards her, heels clicking loudly against the floor.

“Look.” She said, her hand making a loud impact on top of the desk. “Either you move desks, or you deeply regret it.”

“And you’ll do what? Stick your gum on the desk again?” Chloe scoffed.

“Let’s see how you like my gum when it’s stuck in your hair.” The blonde’s nostrils flared.

“Oh, Regina.” Chloe said, faking sympathy. “Class is starting. You’d better sit down.”

Regina’s eyes widened, a scowl evident on her face. She marched her way to the back of the classroom and pulled out a bejeweled nail file and immediately started scratching her initials into the top of it. Chloe smirked with satisfaction as she could feel the pure spite radiate off of Regina, former queen bee of Northshore. Only a few days and she managed to top her. This school would answer to her in only a matter of weeks.

“Miss Smith, this isn’t your class.” The teacher shook their head.

“It’s not?”

“No, your class is down the hall and on your left.”

“Oh…” Karen nodded her head, understanding.

“Your other left.”

“Wow, your psychic.” Karen said.

“No, I just go through this every day.”

“You must have like, ESPN.” Karen stared in awe.

“Get to class, Karen, please.”

“Ok.” Karen waved stiffly. “Bye.”

“Right.” The teacher sighed. “And now, we’re going to be covering the Revolutionary War. Strap in folks. _No _Damian, you can not put Hamilton on the speakers.”__

__Chloe glanced behind her to see the theatre nerd she had met the first day put his hand down and slump sadly._ _

__“I wore the hoodie and everything.” He said in despair, pulling tightly on the drawstrings and making his hood close around his face._ _

__“Now, we start in 1775, the beginning of a long war.”_ _

__“Where does Christopher Jackson come in?” Damian called from the back._ _

__“ _George Washington _.” The teacher corrected him, sounding full of regret. “Christopher Jackson did not lead the war. The musical is not as historically accurate as some would have you think.”___ _

____Damian gasped loudly, clutching at his draw strings. “I’m so sorry, Lin-Manuel Miranda.” He said quietly._ _ _ _

____“If I don’t have any more interruptions, could we please continue?”_ _ _ _

____Chloe blanked for most of the lesson. After hanging around Christine for so long, she was stuck with little tunes dancing around in her head rent free whenever 1776, 1780, 1781, 1789, and 1800 were stated in a regular sentence. Curse catchy show tune melodies! She shook a fist in her mind._ _ _ _

____By the end of the lesson, the recurring echoes of Wait for it were still tumbling around up there._ _ _ _

____“Thoughts about history class?” Jenna asked, typing in her phone._ _ _ _

____“Snooze.” Chloe waved her hand._ _ _ _

____“‘Snooze’.” Jenna repeated, pressing enter on her keypad. “Right.”_ _ _ _

____Chloe’s phone pinged, a new update from Jenna’s account._ _ _ _

____“Post it on your story too and tag me.” Chloe said. “I don’t want to copy you.”_ _ _ _

____“No plagiarism.” Jenna agreed._ _ _ _

____“Only on homework and interviews.” Chloe said._ _ _ _

____“Yeah—Wait, what?”_ _ _ _

____“Nothing.” Chloe shrugged. “Not that important. What’s our next class?”_ _ _ _

____“Math.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “The only math I want to do is clearance shopping.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s not horrible, but it’s not exciting.” Chloe said, adding the tagged story to her own. “I could be doing more exciting things than finding out the area of a triangle of all things.”_ _ _ _

____“For sure.” Jenna agreed, putting up a peace sign as Chloe snapped a picture of them._ _ _ _

____“What’s the trending hashtags today?” Chloe asked._ _ _ _

____“Right now it’s anime and TrueSelfie.” Jenna said._ _ _ _

____“Ugh, really? Well, school is as true as one can go with the filters nowadays. I guess I won’t but out the blotch on your face for now.”_ _ _ _

____“Don’t forget the flyaways.” Jenna said._ _ _ _

____“Not the flyaways.” Chloe groaned. “Whatever. It’s a quick selfie. I can get better ones today on the stairs with nicer lighting.”_ _ _ _

____“The hat is definitely adding at least 200 likes.”_ _ _ _

____“It better. This thing is itchy. And I’m pretty sure it’s adding two pimple patches later on my forehead.”_ _ _ _

____“Cat ears are popular, the hat’s gotta add a cute factor.”_ _ _ _

____“The new algorithm is trash.” Chloe stuck her tongue out. “I’m not getting enough reach. I’ve dropped about 27% of my usual reach.”_ _ _ _

____“Ooh, I like the hat. It’s so fetch!” The brunette from earlier passed by the two girls._ _ _ _

____“Is she mocking me?” Chloe asked._ _ _ _

____“What’s fetch?” Jenna asked, looking it up on Urban Dictionary._ _ _ _

____“Only one result?”_ _ _ _

____“‘British slang for ‘awesome’ or ‘amazing’. Example: Have you seen that new sweater vest? It’s so fetch!’.” Jenna read._ _ _ _

____“Huh. Must be one of those really underground terms. We could use it.”_ _ _ _

____“Fetch sounds like a dog trick, though.” Jenna’s nose wrinkled._ _ _ _

____“Everything sounds like a dog trick at this point.” Chloe sighed._ _ _ _

____“A really complicated one.”_ _ _ _

____“That’s why I don’t like TikTok.”_ _ _ _

____“Brooke sure seems to thrive there.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, and I have no clue how.” Chloe huffed. “If it were just up to looks I would have gotten way more attention, but it has to do with a user’s algorithm and more common likes, and it’s just annoying.”_ _ _ _

____“She does storytimes or whatever. Almost no one thinks the more popular ones are true, but that’s because Squips are so unbelievable.”_ _ _ _

____“Surprised the illegal distributors haven’t tried to take them down.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m sure the dark web is easier to track than TikTok of all things.”_ _ _ _

____“True. If I can’t figure out TikTok, then why would electronic drug dealers know how to?” Chloe asked._ _ _ _


	9. Pop Tart Robbery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich and Kevin become crime bros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my personal headcanon that kevin g. is the most likely to commit a crime because he feels like it / accidentally. he's the type of person who will try on clothes in a store and forget that he's wearing him, leave his own clothes behind, and then get to the door and the alarm system goes off. he likes the ideas of crimes, but he in reality is a coward. anyways, crime bros try to commit crimes.  
> also i'm sorry for not updating, i literally forget that i have this lol. not updating every other day or so has made me ~lazy~. will probably update once a week if i can remember to in the future, so i can catch up in writing mostly.

“Yo yo mathletes!” Kevin Gnapoor strolled into the math classroom, hands held carefree above his head in rock signs.

“Kevin, I’m the only one here.” Cady said. “Where is everybody?”

“Oh.” Kevin blinked, then looked at his phone. “Huh. Apparently, we _aren’t _meeting today.”__

__“What?” Cady asked._ _

__“Yeah… I messed up the dates. Whoops!” He shrugged cartoonishly._ _

__“Great, now I cancelled my afternoon plans for nothing.” Cady sighed, putting her jacket back on. “See you later, Kevin!”_ _

__“Wait, Cady!” Kevin said._ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“Your shoelace is untied.” Kevin said._ _

__“Oh!” Cady checked her dirt stained Converse sneakers to see her laces undone carelessly. “Thanks.”_ _

__“No prob.” Kevin said. “Now that I’m free, I’m gonna try and talk to the new guys in school.”_ _

__“Try and convert them to the mathlete life?”_ _

__“I’m not getting the mathlete vibes from them. They’re either jocks, nerds, loners, one with a criminal mind it appears, theatre kids or popular girls.”_ _

__“You basically just described Aaron, me, Janis, you, Damian, and the Plastics.” Cady said._ _

__“I don’t think about crimes that much. Just a normal amount.”_ _

__“Sure.” Cady said. “You didn’t say earlier that you wanted to rob a connivence store of purely Pop Tarts.”_ _

__“Hey, it’s convenient! For me! And the Pop Tarts!”_ _

__Cady rolled her eyes. “Well, you have fun with whatever you’re gonna do. I’m gonna see if I can do something with somebody.”_ _

__“What’s wrong with hanging out with me?”_ _

__“You’re going to try and rope me into robbing a convenience store of all their Pop Tarts. And I don’t even like Pop Tarts.”_ _

__“Pop Tarts?” A lanky kid with a striped shirt popped his head in. “Oh, no Pop Tarts. Nevermind.”_ _

__“Excuse me, new guy, but how do you feel about Pop Tarts?”_ _

__“They’re nice.”_ _

__“Awesome. How do you feel about robbing a convenience store of them?”_ _

__“Uh… Less nice.”_ _

__“Did someone say ‘rob’ and ‘convenience?” A shorter kid with a red stripe in his hair poked his head in as well._ _

__“Excuse me, other new guy, how do you feel about that?”_ _

__“Awesome!” He said. “I’m in. No questions asked.”_ _

__“A wonderful answer. Would you like to tag along with me?”_ _

__“And do something maybe illegal? I’m in!”_ _

__“Rich, stop doing ‘crimes’.”_ _

__“Relax, Jeremy No-Fun-Heere, it’s nothing serious. Just Pop Tarts!” Rich said._ _

__Kevin and Rich walked away, arguing about the best flavor of Pop Tarts._ _

__“Does yours have a constant cool guy attitude but in reality he’s kind of just a dork?” Cady asked._ _

__“Rich? Oh yeah.”_ _

__“They’re not even going to steal anything. Just think that going in and eventually pay and tip the cashier.”_ _

__Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t know why he keeps insisting to do crimes. I think he feels like he missed out living life under the guide of a computer for more than half of his high school life.”_ _

__“…What?”_ _

__“Oh, you haven’t heard about that yet.” Jeremy said. “Another time. It’s a… Long story.”_ _

__“As long as Damian’s musical?” Cady smirked._ _

__“Christine has a mini musical too. It’s not fully fledged and choreographed, but it’s a good summary.”_ _

__“Damian will be very excited about that.”_ _

__“I’m sure he will be. The songs are catchy too. The Rich Set a Fire song was surprisingly catchy for the amounts of… Fire in it.”_ _

__“Hold on what?”_ _

__“Yeah, you had a popular girl manipulate the whole school and get hit by a bus, we got a school almost taken over by a super computer in our brains because I wanted to be cooler and have a girlfriend.” Jeremy smiled nervously._ _

__“Definitely musical worthy.”_ _

__“When we’ve got time, I’m sure Christine would be thrilled to give you all the run down.”_ _

__“Sounds fun. Does this Saturday work?”_ _

__“I’ll check.” Jeremy said, texting Christine. He got an almost instantaneous reply. “She says ‘thumbs up’.”_ _

__His phone pinged three times in a row._ _

__“Thumbs up. Thumbs up exclamation point. Thumbs up emoji.” Jeremy read off._ _

__“Great. I’m pretty sure everyone’s free. Damian’s garage makes a very nice makeshift stage when he needs it to be.”_ _

__“Sounds good.” Jeremy said. He then shifted awkwardly where he stood. “I’m just gonna go now.”_ _

__“Ok,” Cady smiled. “See you later!”_ _

__“Bye!” Jeremy nodded and walked away._ _

__“Uh, Jeremy, Rich and some other guy just walked by me chanting ‘crimes’. Should I be concerned?” Michael ran up to him._ _

__“No…” Jeremy said slowly, then took back his thoughts. “Maybe it would be for the best if we tagged along with them. Just to make sure they don’t rob a store of their PopTarts supply.”_ _

__“Back up a bit.”_ _

__“No time. We should catch up with them.”_ _

__“Good point.” Michael walked ahead of Jeremy before swiveling around. “Where are they headed? And do we know how to get there?”_ _

__Jeremy held his mouth open, hoping a verbal solution would tumble out of his mouth before his brain didn’t take too long to materialize the thought in his head. In other words, he didn’t have an answer._ _

__“Hey Google, how do we follow our friend to make sure they don’t commit a felony?” Michael asked his phone._ _

__“ _I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer for that _.” His phone said back.___ _

____“Oh. Well.” Michael shrugged, putting his phone back into his pocket._ _ _ _

____“Well, we can just use Maps to look up nearby convenience stores and continue from there.” Jeremy said, dragging Michael along._ _ _ _

____“Can you please explain to me what Rich’s plan is?”_ _ _ _

____“It’s Rich, since when do his plans make sense?”_ _ _ _

____“Good point.” Michael said. “Wait, is that him?”_ _ _ _

____“It is!” Jeremy exclaimed. “We’ve gotta tail him.”_ _ _ _

____“Look, they’re going into a 7-11!” Michael said. “I’m getting a slushie!”_ _ _ _

____“A good cover.” Jeremy said, stroking an imaginary mustache. “Yes, that will do nicely.”_ _ _ _

____“Do you want one?”_ _ _ _

____“Duh.”_ _ _ _

____“Blue raspberry or cherry?”_ _ _ _

____“Whichever one isn’t broken.”_ _ _ _

____“A very nice choice, my friend.”_ _ _ _

____Jeremy and Michal walked into the 7-11 after waiting a minute after Rich and Kevin did, skedaddling past them to make sure that they wouldn’t see them and moseyed over to the slushie machine._ _ _ _

____“Cherry’s out.” Michael said, finessing a cup out of the dispenser and into his hand. “Blue raspberry work for you?”_ _ _ _

____“Yep.” Jeremy said, taking three straws._ _ _ _

____The machine whirred loudly as Michael poured his drink into his cup like an expert, and did the same for Jeremy’s._ _ _ _

____“A mini? Really?”_ _ _ _

____“Not everyone wants a giant slushie.”_ _ _ _

____“There’s nothing wrong with having an addiction.”_ _ _ _

____Michael slammed the lids onto the cups and handed one to Jeremy, bumping them together in the process._ _ _ _

____“Cheers.” They both said before taking a sip._ _ _ _

____“Ah yes, pure sugar and carbonation.” Jeremy nodded after finishing his slurp. “How blue’s my tongue?”_ _ _ _

____“Very.” Michael said, sticking out his own. “What about me?”_ _ _ _

____“Blue.”_ _ _ _

____“Rich has his hands on a box of Pop Tarts. Should I be worried now?” Michael looked past him._ _ _ _

____“Uh, maybe. If they make a dash for it, just pay for the slushies and ignore him.” Jeremy said, glancing down._ _ _ _

____“Nope, they’re paying for them.” Michael noticed. “And it looks like he just handed the cashier a 20-dollar bill.”_ _ _ _

____“Classic Rich.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Let’s go pay.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s on me.” Michael said._ _ _ _

____“What do you want?”_ _ _ _

____“I owe you for a cake pop, right?”_ _ _ _

____“Fair.”_ _ _ _

____“Always am.” Michael grinned. “At least, I think so.”_ _ _ _

____“Not when you’re playing PvP games. Don’t think I’ve forgotten our last round of Super Smash Bros.”_ _ _ _

____“Hey, just cause I’m more skilled than you doesn’t mean that I don’t play fair.”_ _ _ _

____“You take that back right now.”_ _ _ _

____“Why should I? It’s the truth.” Michael said, paying for their drinks._ _ _ _

____“You’re a liar.” Jeremy said, following Michael out of the 7-11._ _ _ _

____He rounded the corner, glancing at a bright pink car out of the corner of his eye. And then he ran promptly into Regina George._ _ _ _


	10. Don't Be A Karen Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: mentions of alcohol  
> and bad writing  
> i couldn't figure out how to end this chapter so i just kept writing sorry lol

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Regina inhaled, slightly disbelieving.

“I-I’m so sorry.” Jeremy stuttered, rushing to pick up his scattered slushie cup. There was nothing left in the cup itself, other than the straw. The blue drink had splashed all over Regina’s new white crop top.

Jeremy saw the flash of anger in Regina’s eyes, but it was just in general. Like she wanted to watch the world burn.

He took this as a sign to leave. And so he did.

“Gretchen, why did I follow you here again?” Regina twirled around to the girl on her right.

“Because they got new diet bars?” The girl offered weakly.

“This is why I do my shopping online.” Regina narrowed her eyes.

“Why didn’t we just shop online then?” Karen asked.

“Why _didn’t _we?”__

__“I don’t know, that’s why I just asked.”_ _

__“Karen, I think it’d be smart to be quiet now.” Gretchen whispered._ _

__“Why?” Karen asked. “I don’t like being quiet.”_ _

__“Karen, be quiet.” Regina snapped._ _

__“Well, I’m not smart, so I don’t think I should be quiet too.” Karen crossed her arms._ _

__Regina rolled her eyes and clicked the remote on her keys, unlocking her car. “Get in losers, we’re going back to my place.”_ _

__“Yes Regina.” Gretchen said, getting into the passenger’s seat._ _

__“Did you see where my shoe went?” Karen asked._ _

__“How did you lose—” Regina blinked, then sighed. “Gretchen, did you see where Karen lost her shoe?”_ _

__“No Regina.” Gretchen shook her head._ _

__“Do you know where you lost it?”_ _

__“If I did, why would I be asking you where it is?” Karen asked._ _

__“That’s surprisingly a good point.” Regina said. “Whatever. Karen, you should get in the car and—”_ _

__“Karen. You’re wearing both of your shoes.” Gretchen realized._ _

__“Not those shoes, my other shoe.”_ _

__“Why do you have three shoes?”_ _

__“I wore two different colored shoes today. They were the same kind, I just wanted to wear mismatching shoes.” Karen said, as if it was obvious. “I carried the other shoe around with me in case I wanted to match again.”_ _

__“How did you lose a shoe?”_ _

__“I lose myself a lot, it’s not too surprising.” Karen shrugged._ _

__“What does that mean?” Regina asked._ _

__“She means she gets lost. One time she got lost in a kiddie corn maze. She could see over the top of it.”_ _

__“It was dark.” Karen said._ _

__“It was 2:00 in the afternoon. You closed your eyes.”_ _

__“That explains why it was so hard to blink.”_ _

__“Karen, does this shoe matter a lot? Do you know where you could’ve lost it?” Regina interrupted._ _

__“Maybe I left it at your house.” Karen wondered._ _

__Regina stared blankly out into the distance, as if regretting her choices._ _

__“If we can’t find your shoe there, we’ll come back.” Gretchen said._ _

__“Ok.” Karen shrugged._ _

__“Finally.” Regina sighed. “Let’s go.”_ _

__Regina’s bright convertible rolled out of the 7-11 parking lot and back to her modest mansion._ _

__The girls tumbled out and walked past Regina’s mom._ _

__“Hey girls! I’m making cookies!” She told them. “They have whiskey in them! A lot!”_ _

__“Did you replace most of the recipe with whiskey?” Regina raised an eyebrow._ _

__“Hmm… Maybe.” Her mom seemed to consider this. “Can’t really remember. I’ve had like, 5 of these.”_ _

__“That’s just a shot glass.” Gretchen said._ _

__“Is it? Couldn’t tell?” Mrs. George hiccuped._ _

__“You’re so embarrassing.” Regina groused, moving on._ _

__Regina and the girls walked into Regina’s bedroom. Pristine, perfect, shiny and pink, just like always_ _

__“My shoe!” Karen said._ _

__She walked over to a pink heel, which was sitting atop a chaise._ _

__“Thank goodness.” Regina said. “Now move, I need to drape myself over that.”_ _

__“That’s right heel, move.” Karen said. Then she laughed. “Oh wait, you don’t move.”_ _

__“Karen, please.” Regina begged._ _

__“Right.” Karen scooped up her shoe and cradled it in her arms._ _

__“Aren’t you going to put it on?” Gretchen asked._ _

__“I don’t want to match yet.”_ _

__“You’re matching already. That’s a fuchsia heel. You’re wearing black heels right now.”_ _

__“I don’t want to unmatch then yet.”_ _

__“You’re giving me a headache.” Regina groaned, lounging on her chaise._ _

__“If you want a worse headache tomorrow, you could try one of your mom’s shot cookies.”_ _

__“And poison myself? No way. She probably just added a spoonful of sugar and a mix of Gatorade or vodka into that. You try it, I’m not touching it.”_ _

__“Doesn’t she prefer tequila to vodka?” Gretchen asked._ _

__“She doesn’t know what she likes more, by the time someone asks her, she’s already out of her mind.”_ _

__“How often is this?”_ _

__“Usually on weekends. Mostly Fridays, since she starts Saturday and ends Sunday night with a hangover. She at least gets out of my perfectly blown out hair.” Regina fluffed her hair for emphasis._ _

__“Speaking of which, I need to go to my hair stylist soon.” Gretchen said._ _

__“Isn’t your hair usually bigger than that?”_ _

__“That’s a secret.” Gretchen put a finger to her lips._ _

__“Like magic.” Karen said._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“You know, how magic never reveals magician’s secrets?”_ _

__“No, it’s the other way around.” Regina sighed._ _

__“Magic does reveal magician’s secrets?”_ _

__“That’s more accurate.”_ _

__“I was right!” Karen clapped._ _

__“Just give her this one.” Gretchen said quietly, to a Regina who looked ready to start a debate. “She doesn’t usually have one.”_ _

__“With me around, it’s unlikely she’ll ever get one. I’m always right, even if I’m wrong.”_ _

__“You sound more like Karen now.”_ _

__“Quick, she’s rubbing off on me, do something!” Regina said urgently._ _

__“Uh… What’s 2 + 27?” Gretchen said the first thing she could think of._ _

__“29? Can Karen not do math?”_ _

__“Karen can’t really do… Much.” Gretchen glanced at Karen who was struggling to take off her heel._ _

__“Oh, right. I forgot we were talking about Karen for a minute.”_ _

__“Who were you thinking of?”_ _

__“A smarter Karen, I guess.”_ _

__“Does one exist?”_ _

__“If we could teach Karen a few tricks, maybe.”_ _


	11. The Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is lowkey highkey my favorite chapter i've written
> 
> updates'll probably be slower because i'm kinda stuck on what to write,,, i know what i want to write but i just can't physically write lol

“When I said I’d pay you back, this isn’t what I was imagining.” Jeremy shifted awkwardly in the dress Christine had loaned him. “And this doesn’t even fit me.”

“Well, you offered!” Christine chirped, bouncing between him and Michael, adjusting their outfits. “Brooke and Chloe are gonna be late, and we kind of need them to put on this musical.”

“But… Aren’t I the one who starts the whole thing out? Why am I dressed as Chloe right now?” Jeremy asked.

“You’ll understudy. Or in video game nerd talk, dual wield. Wear the outfit, and pull the wig on and off when you need to switch.”

“I know I’m not in theatre, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t how costume changes work.”

“You’re lucky I’m not making you do a shakedown or play Zip Zap Zop before this, just grin and bear it.” Christine said, ruffling his hair slightly. “Perfect! You look just like Jeremy!”

“I… I am Jeremy.”

“Sure, Chloe!”

“Please stop.”

“Michael, you ready?”

“Uh… No.” Michael held his arms out awkwardly, not sure what to do with them. “I’ve never worn a dress over clothes, or just in general, but it’s uncomfy.”

“It’ll be fine. Chloe and Brooke are just 10 minutes late, so you might not even have to say their lines!”

“Hold on, we were supposed to memorize these things?” Jeremy held up the thick binder filled to the brim with notes and sheet music.

“You were supposed to be off book last week.” Christine crossed her arms.

“I didn’t know that meant memorizing!”

“You really need to learn theatre lingo, Jeremy.”

“Believe me, I am well aware.”

“Michael, you?”

He gave a weak thumbs up. “I memorized the interval in More Than Survive.”

“Uh, you have a lot more lines than that.”

“One song is about me chilling in Jake’s bathroom while having a panic attack, I have the gist of it down.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Christine winced slightly. “Well, 30 seconds to show time!”

“She’s going insane, we need to stop her.” Michael hissed as she walked away.

“I think it’s a little too late for that.” Jeremy whispered back.

“20 seconds till curtain!” Christine screamed, causing Jake and Rich to jump a mile high.

“I’m scared.” Rich said.

“Don’t mess this up or she’ll give you major notes.” Jake shivered.

“We ran through this one time.” Jeremy said. “How many notes did she give you?”

“About this many.” Jake held up his thick binder. It looked stuffed to the max. Practically bursting apart if you were to hold it wrong kind of stuffed.

Jeremy and Michael wore equally horrified expressions on their face.

“Yeah. I needed to buy a new pack of highlighters.” He said.

“Christine needs to chill.” Rich said, fidgeting with his bandana. “Earlier she told me that I wasn’t ‘in character’. I’m literally me!”

“Be More Chill, if you will.” Michael offered.

“Stop.” The other three told him.

“I don’t even know why she called it ‘Be More Chill’. If anything, it should be called ‘don’t consume super intelligent computers’.” Jeremy said.

“That gives away the plot though.” Jake said.

“No it doesn’t.”

“How you got cool is part of the plot, so yeah it is.”

“Minus 17 seconds from curtain!” Christine said. “You were supposed to be on already!”

“Crap!” Jeremy said, rushing out onto the makeshift stage Damian had in his garage.

“Places!” Christine said.

Jeremy sat down at a folding table with a lawn chair, and pretended to load up a computer.

“Come on, come on.” He said, pretending to angrily spam his keyboard.

“What’s happening?” Janis called from the audience.

“I’m loading up my computer!” He shouted back.

“Don’t break character!” Christine hollered.

“Then you explain what’s happening!”

Rich started to shout, “He’s loading up—”

“DON’T TALK WHEN BEHIND CURTAIN!” Christine said. “HAVE I TAUGHT YOU PEOPLE NOTHING?!”

The group behind the curtain quieted immediately, scared of what Christine might shout at them next. She might break out the curse words if they did anything else.

Jeremy started over. “Come on, come on—”

“Your savior has arrived!” Chloe announced as she and Brooke walked into the garage.

“Cut!” Christine cried.

“She’s at her breaking point. Get changed. Quickly.” Jeremy warned.

The girls nodded and went to switch outfits, mostly just their jackets, and everyone else scrambled to make sure everything went smoothly.

The boys panic memorized their lines the best they could, and Rich practiced talking without a lisp. He found this quite hard when his Squip wasn’t telling his body not to.

“Places people!” Christine clapped loudly. “ _Places _!”__

__“Ok, ok, we’re going!” Jeremy said, chasing back out onto stage as Michael shined a flashlight at him for a spotlight._ _

__“Come on, come on.” Jeremy chanted._ _

__The rest of More Than Survive went out without a huge hitch, the only thing that happened was Rich tripping over his shoelaces when he entered._ _

__“I love play rehearsal!” Christine started up, as Jeremy sat next to her and tried his best to pretend to be nervous but pretend to be completely ok at the same time. Acting was a whole new world for him, one that he didn’t particularly delve into a lot unless Christine called him to._ _

__It was a common occurrence that Jake called him whipped, but Jeremy didn’t particularly care. Or listen. He didn’t find himself listening to Jake often, mostly because he double dog dared him multiple times to do very stupid things. Like stick a fork into a toaster. That’s why Jeremy tended to block Jake out._ _

__“Jeremy.” Christine hissed, covertly snapping her fingers so the audience wouldn’t see. “It’s your line.”_ _

__“Oh, uh—”_ _

__They picked up the effort and focused a little better, but then “Mr. Rayus” walked on._ _

__“Ah yes, I love hot pockets.” Jake said._ _

__“That’s not your line.” Christine hissed._ _

__“Hot pockets, hot pockets, hot pockets.” Jake continued._ _

__“Do you not remember your lines?” Christine sighed._ _

__“No. Hot pockets!”_ _

__“I’ll do your dialogue. You act it out.”_ _

__And all was well._ _

__“Wait, did you say that this was based off of your real life?” Janis asked from the audience._ _

__“This _was _what happened in our real lives.” Rich told her.___ _

____“You mean these things actually exist?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, Squips are real, and they are a pain.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, no, I was talking about people unironically drinking Mountain Dew. But yeah, Squips too.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m not touching Mountain Dew ever again. And not just cause it cursed me with a computer in my brain.”_ _ _ _

____“Man, the audience sure is loud!” Damian called out. “Glad to know they’re enjoying the performance and not ignoring what’s happening on stage!”_ _ _ _

____“Damian, cool it. They forgot their lines right now.”_ _ _ _

____“And you shouldn’t act like it’s boring because they’ve forgotten them. Do you know how _rude _that is? You have to pay attention and give them wholehearted support, no matter what’s happening on stage.”___ _ _ _

______“Ok, fine. Chill.” Janis said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Be More Chill.” Damian told her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You are literally impossible.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Support the arts, Janis!” Damian demanded._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Optic nerve blocking, on.” Jeremy said, continuing the scene, and Michael tumbled off stage._ _ _ _ _ _

______Damian gasped loudly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Janis sighed and patted his shoulder. “Remember that they’re still friends now, so it can’t have ended badly.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Spoilers!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______For the cast, it all blurred by. Soon enough, it was the end. Well, almost the end._ _ _ _ _ _

______Then everyone started screaming._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rich disappeared as Madeline turned the garage lights off, the only thing to notice him by was the glow stick jewelry he was wearing that they had hastily gotten from the Dollar Store in last minute preparation for the show._ _ _ _ _ _

______Voices In My Head began to play, and Jeremy’s voice broke as he said, “Let’s go!” It broke again when he tried to reach the high note that no one else could at the very end._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Brava! Brava!” Damian clapped enthusiastically._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I agree with Michael. This is way too good for a high schooler written play. What’re your secrets?” Janis asked Christine._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Passion!” Christine said, shaking her hands like they held fireworks._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, it was great.” Cady said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thank you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“That was absolutely lovely.” Damian told her. “Do you have these out on a music streaming platform?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I haven’t gotten an official recording with everyone yet, it’s just me. Nobody has all of their lyrics down, as you can see, and some of them don’t exactly like to turn their book pages slowly.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, it was great. You’ll have to message me when you have the full recording out.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Curtain call people!” Christine announced. Everyone went on the stage, which didn’t exactly fit them all, but they squeezed in._ _ _ _ _ _

______Michael bowed deeply. “Thank you! We’ll be here for another hour or so. And in Evanston and the Northshore area for another semester or so.”_ _ _ _ _ _


	12. (Rich Set a Fire) And Locked Himself Out of the House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how the text format's gonna turn out so i'm sorry in advance  
> i don't know how to html  
> this is going to end poorly  
> bear with me pretend where i said jeremy sent a picture of a laughing cat there's actually one there because i don't know how to do that
> 
> this is kind of filler and useless but i needed more interaction between kevin and rich plus rich is just fun to write lol

“You _rock _at playlists.” Rich said, bobbing his head as he listened to a playlist Kevin had mixed for him.__

__“I set fire with beats, what can I say?” Kevin shrugged._ _

__“I set fire to a house once.” Rich reminisced._ _

__Kevin stared blankly at Rich, his mouth slightly open._ _

__“Yeah, it was a ride.” Rich nodded._ _

__“Can uh, can you go back to that part?”_ _

__“You’ll have to watch Christine’s musical for that. And I am _not _putting myself under that much stress again. That was worse than freshman year.”___ _

____“I’ll… Keep that in mind.”_ _ _ _

____“So, can you predict the future with these things?” Rich asked._ _ _ _

____“What, like a Magic 8 Playlist?” Kevin asked. “I may or may not have a few tricks up my sleeve for that. Ask me a question.”_ _ _ _

____“Uh… Will I be successful in my future?” Rich asked._ _ _ _

____The song _That’s Rich _from Newsies: The Musical began to play as Kevin shuffled a playlist labeled ‘I Can see into The Future’.___ _ _ _

______“Is that good?” Rich asked as he looked at the title._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The song? Yeah. Damian made us all watch the proshot of Newsies.” Kevin said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No no, I mean the—My. My future.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Not sure. It could mean ‘haha, yeah right’, ‘you will be rich’ or you will be _Rich _.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’d like to be Rich for the rest of my life, thanks. And rich. Having a lot of money is a plus to life.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If I had a lot of money, I’d buy my own DJ station. All I’ve got now is a little portable one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey, you can do a lot with that! For example, on my phone I have a song I made with the stuff on it.” Rich said, pressing play on a video._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A remix of Elmo’s World began to play. It had the Muppets theme song mixed into it as well._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“That is… Interesting.” Kevin said, listening as it continued._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wait till you get to the beat drop.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Rich’s phone died._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh no!” Kevin said, hints of sarcasm coming through. “Would you like to borrow my charger?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Nah, it’s fine.” Rich said, shoving his phone in his backpack. “Should head back to the hotel to get some homework done anyways. Before the others get back and destroy the tranquility.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, you can have fun with… Whatever that was.” Kevin said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sometimes my friends call me Elmo because of that one GIF with him and fire.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You pronounce it ‘ _GIF _’?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s pronounced _GIF _.” Kevin corrected him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced GIF.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, I am 110% sure it’s pronounced GIF.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Dude, stop. It’s GIF.” Rich said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You are an insult to the people who correctly pronounce GIF.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rich shook his head and looked at a nearby clock. “Welp, I should head back now. See you later!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Bye Rich! Hope you become successful!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Me too!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And learn to pronounce GIF right!” Kevin shouted after him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Compelling argument!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Thank you!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rich went to check his phone to see if he had any new messages, then realized that it was out of juice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Welp, let’s just hope there’s nothing happening and move on.” Rich said to himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He began to whistle a happy little tune, that was certainly not a song of Christine’s from the musical she had written that he had gotten stuck in his head, and strolled down the sidewalk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He nearly got ran over by a group of cyclists, but other than that, it was pretty peaceful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Dang it, where’s the hotel key?” Rich patted down his pockets. “Uh oh.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What, you lost the keycard already?” Michael came up behind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh my gosh!” Rich jumped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sorry. But you lost it, didn’t you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rich’s ears grew slightly red. “N-No I didn’t! It’s right, uh… Here?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’ll get it.” Michael rolled his eyes. “Also, why aren’t you checking your phone?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Huh?” Rich blinked. “Oh! It’s dead.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh. Well, charge it then.” Michael said, throwing the hotel door open._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Thanks for the tip.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m always here to help!” He said, throwing his headphones over his ears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah, except when you don’t feel like it and blast Bob Marley!” Rich shouted. Michael didn’t hear him. Or maybe he did. He was probably ignoring him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ok, what do we got here?” Rich said, sorting through his backpack. He tossed his phone on the couch and pulled out some textbooks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He jumped onto the couch himself, and started reading through his notes he had for history._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Why did I write Daveed Diggs in here?” Rich wondered aloud. “Oh wait, that Damian kid was going on a rap about him. I mean rant.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Do you always talk to yourself when you do your homework?” Michael lifted a cup of his headphones up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s the best way to do anything!” Rich said. “Clarifies for you when you can hear yourself, and annoys everyone else around you!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah, annoy me a little quieter.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You blasted Marley all night last night, you do not get to talk about being quiet.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Jeremy payed me 12 bucks for it! Blame him!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You took a bribe!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s not like that was for anything illegal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rich rolled his eyes. “Why can’t it be illegal?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Keeping your friends up into late hours of the night isn’t illegal, otherwise sleepovers would be outlawed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“They should be. I was never invited to one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Aren’t they a girly thing though?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What’s wrong with doing girl stuff? Gender binary should not stand in the way of me giggling with cute girls and wearing footie pajamas, and possibly while eating cupcakes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You make a good point.” Michael said. “Especially about cupcakes. I want some cupcakes now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You always want some form of a cake, what’s new?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I don’t have a cake now.” Michael said. “Somebody give me some cake!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Get it yourself.” Rich said, erasing some of his notes. “I’m busy educating myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You are a horrible friend.” Michael said. “Won’t even give me cake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What kind of cake would you even want me to get? Like bakery or Walmart cake?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Cake cake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah, that clears it up.” Rich sighed. “Now be quiet, I need to finish my schoolwork. Why did I put Anthony Ramos in here?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hamilton does that to you.” Michael said. “Christine wouldn’t stop playing it for months on end. I’m so glad that hyperfixation died because I was very very tired of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Just you wait, just you wait…” Rich hummed ominously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Shut up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not throwing away my shot.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________A pillow smacked Rich in the face and he fell out of his chair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ow!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oops.” Michael offered weakly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You did that on purpose!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“How else do you think the pillow went from here to there? It flew?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I wish you flew. Away!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ok, I’ll make sure to lock you out of the hotel room next time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I take it back.” Rich said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Get me cake and we’ll see how I feel after that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not getting you cake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Have fun sleeping in the hall tonight!” Michael said, typing something on his phone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Are you messaging the group chat? Are you telling them to lock me out?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Maybe, maybe not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Bro, I’m broke. I couldn’t buy you a cake if I wanted to, and believe me, I don’t want to sleep outside tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Fine.” Michael sighed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Then why are you still messaging the group chat?” Rich asked warily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No reason.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rich’s phone conveniently came awake with 1% battery charge, and he saw the group chat. Currently it was being flooded with laughing cat memes from Jeremy. “What are you saying about me?” Rich raised his eyebrows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Bob Marley Stan _  
LOL GUYS RICH LOCKED HIMSELF OUT OF THE HOTEL ROOM  
LOL I’M THREATENING HIM TO GET ME A CAKE  
GUYS PLZ LOCK HIM OUT OF THE ROOM FOR AN HOUR AFTER DINNER IT’LL BE WORTH IT I PROMISE__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Victim of Rich #1 (germy here) _  
micahel stop with the caps lock plz__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Jake and the Beanstalk (but he is the beanstalk) _  
No don’t this is funny__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________Bob Marley Stan _  
Guys im gonna cry this is great__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Jake and the Beanstalk (but he is the beanstalk) _  
Are you ok__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________Bob Marley Stan _  
No__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________Victim of Rich #1 (germy here) _  
when is he ever though__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________Bob Marley Stan _  
While you guys are out can you get me cake please__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________Victim of Rich #1 (germy here) _  
no__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________Bob Marley Stan _  
Why not__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________Victim of Rich #1 (germy here) _  
because from the sound of it you’re already on a sugar high__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________Bob Marley Stan _  
Im always on a high  
420 whatcha smokin__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________Victim of Rich #1 (germy here) _  
**A picture of a cat that looks like it's laughing **  
idk why i found that so funny lol****__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________****_Bob Marley Stan _  
Cause im just that funny 😎__ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________****___Jake and the Beanstalk (but he is the beanstalk) _  
No.__ _ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	13. Melt the Plastics

“Guess what?” Karen asked.

“Uh, what?” Cady asked.

“You know the new people?”

“Yes?” Cady said, sounding slightly worried.

“Well, they’re new.”

“Oh… Ok? What about them?”

“They’re new.”

“Anything else you know about them?”

“Regina and the one named… Cleo are fighting.”

“Wait, like fighting-fighting?” Cady asked.

“Yeah.” Karen nodded. “It’s very violent.”

“Oh my gosh.” Cady said, shoving her homework into her backpack. “Where are they?”

“The cafeteria.”

“Why are they in the cafeteria?”

“One of them was trying to use the vending machine, and there was only one pink lemonade left, and the other snatched it away.”

“Oh no.” Cady shut her eyes tight. “Well, I’m going to make sure that one of them isn’t dead or emotionally broken. Be right back.”

Cady ran to the cafeteria and threw the doors open to see Regina George and Chloe Valentine staring each other down.

“What’s happening?” She asked Gretchen. “Karen said they were fighting. And it was violent.”

“Violent? No, they’ve only been glaring at each other for the past few minutes. I’m afraid Regina might get frown lines.”

“Are they… Not talking? At all?”

“No.” Jenna Roland told her.

“It’s a silent treatment.” Gretchen explained.

“Have they ever talked before? Isn’t that just… Not introducing yourself?” Cady asked.

“You don’t want to open that can of worms.” Brooke Lohst sighed.

“Are they just going to stand there like that forever then?”

“Maybe.” Jenna shrugged.

Regina threw a look back at Gretchen and motioned for her to follow her out.

“We’ve got better things to do then hang around the wannabes.” Regina threw her head back and sniffed.

“Wannabes?” Chloe scoffed. “Take a look in the mirror.”

“Come _on _Gretchen, we’re leaving.” Regina grimaced.__

__“Bye Gretchen!” Brooke waved. “You’re so fetch!”_ _

__“Gretchen.” Regina warned._ _

__“It’s becoming a thing!” Gretchen said in a shrill whisper. Then she scampered off behind Regina._ _

__“What does ‘fetch even mean?” Chloe asked._ _

__“It’s a slang word. I think it’s British.” Brooke put a finger on her chin as she thought._ _

__“That’s not helpful.” Chloe shook her head._ _

__Cady decided that this was a good time to head out as well, unnoticed._ _

__“Wait a minute.” Chloe turned to Cady, who froze. “What do you know about Regina?”_ _

__“Uh… She’s… Regina?”_ _

__“Yes, but… What do you _know _about Regina?”___ _

____“I’m running late to mathlete practice. Gotta go!” Cady ran from them. And being frightened, she ran fast._ _ _ _

____“A mathlete?” Chloe sounded skeptical. “Really?”_ _ _ _

____“Didn’t Northshore and Middleborough go up against each other before? In math competitions?” Jenna asked._ _ _ _

____“How would I know?”_ _ _ _

____“Nevermind.”_ _ _ _

____“Now, what can we find on the vast internet about Regina George?” Chloe asked, typing aggressively on her phone._ _ _ _

____“Apparently, she got hit by a bus!” Brooke exclaimed._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry, what?” Chloe leaned over to see Brooke’s screen._ _ _ _

____“Yeah! She stormed out on the street and started yelling at this girl and wasn’t paying attention, then got hit by a bus!” Jenna said._ _ _ _

____“Is that that girl that was just here?” Chloe asked._ _ _ _

____“It is! It looks like she was trying to say something, but kept getting interrupted.”_ _ _ _

____“Does that say a million views?” Chloe sounded shocked._ _ _ _

____“To be specific, one million, two hundred and seventy thousand, four hundred and fifty nine views.” Brooke said._ _ _ _

____“People like watching other people get hit by buses, huh?”_ _ _ _

____“Maybe you should get hit by a bus!” Jenna suggested. “Oh my gosh, that came out _so _wrong.”___ _ _ _

______“I’m not risking _this _face just for internet attention.” Chloe said. “We’ll have to figure something else out.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“O. M. G.” Jenna said slowly, putting her hand over her mouth as she stifled a laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Chlo. Look at this.” Jenna shoved her phone in Chloe’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Chloe watched a video of Regina, Karen, Gretchen and Cady dancing on stage in short Santa outfits, and Regina bent over, her skirt splitting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh my gosh.” Chloe said in a robotic tone, watching as Regina ran off the stage. “Tell me this blew up.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It did.” Jenna laughed. “I mean, it’s blown over now since it was practically a year ago, but it was _huge _.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“How huge? Are we talking about news article huge? Or local television news?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m seeing a few news articles. Most of them were probably taken down or flagged for the video shots, you know?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well, if that’s all we have, then there’s not much I can do with it. Since this is old news now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You could always bring it back up again?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“If people are still scared of her now, even after that, then there isn’t. I’ll have to start something else up. Rumors spread quick.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Rumors are old school, Chloe.” Brooke said. “And it’s not like they’ll pick up quickly if they don’t pick up at all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“True.” Chloe sighed. “Then what do I do?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Grin and bear it?” Brooke offered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Chloe shot a glare at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nevermind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’ll just have to work up an even better worse reputation than Regina George.” Jenna said. “I mean, it shouldn’t be that hard. Regina is an old lady now. Chloe? It’s a good, modern name.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And Valentine!” Brooke said. “That’s a good last name. You can make a cute nickname out of that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“True.” Chloe smoothed her hair down. “Well, let’s keep plotting. Over a cup of Starbucks.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“This cafeteria smells.” Jenna agreed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Brooke held her nose. “Reeks of plastic.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’ll take care of that.” Chloe assured them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Save the turtles!” Brooke cheered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’ll burn the plastic to the ground, and bury it.” Chloe announced._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Is that environmentally healthy?” Brooke asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“That had double meaning, Brooke. We’re supposed to leave after an epic statement like that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ohh…. Oops. Sorry!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i despise this chapter >:c


	14. New Best Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fun chapter, and I totally didn't project onto Michael (down with Yoshi 2021) uwu

“Oh my gosh, Michael are you ok?” Jeremy gasped as Michael walked into the GameStop they had agreed to meet up in.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not wearing your hoodie. You don’t have your headphones. You look like you walked out of a washing machine. What happened?”

“It’s hot, I was sweating, and my headphones are out of battery?” Michael offered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of your hoodie. Even at night. I thought it was like, permanently attached to your or something.”

“Does it look permanently attached to me?” Michael motioned to his plain black t-shirt.

“You look so… Normal. Boring. Very un-Michael like.” Jeremy said. “Are you sure you’re ok? You’re not sick? Maybe you should go back to the hotel and rest, just to make sure.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m fine.”

“You’re still dancing like your listening to Bob Marley. Are you having delusions?”

“No, I just have my headphones in.”

“Where?”

Michael pushed back a few locks of hair and pointed to his AirPods.

“I can’t believe you. Who are you, and what have you done with Michael?”

“Relax Jeremy.” Michael rolled his eyes.

“I won’t relax. You’re acting like some weird alien.” Jeremy gasped loudly and backed away slightly. “Did you consume Mountain Dew and some ominous tic tacs in the last few hours?”

“No Jeremy, I haven’t been Squipped. I am _fine _.”__

__“Fine, fine.” Jeremy said, walking away slowly. Then he whipped around and exclaimed, “ _Pop quiz: _What’s our favorite video game level?”___ _

____“Level 9, the Cafetorium.” Michael said. “And you do remember that Squips can sour through your memories, right?”_ _ _ _

____“Oh. Right.” Jeremy shook his head. “Duh.”_ _ _ _

____“Nice try.” Michael patted Jeremy’s shoulder._ _ _ _

____“What’d you want to come in here for anyways?”_ _ _ _

____“Just browsing, you know? And also Mario Kart Deluxe 8. No biggie.”_ _ _ _

____“You don’t have MKD8 yet? Are you sure you’re ok?”_ _ _ _

____“You just said ‘MKD8’. Should I be the one asking if you’re ok?”_ _ _ _

____“I like to abbreviate things. It’s quicker.” Jeremy shrugged._ _ _ _

____“Not when it takes me 30 seconds to figure out what you mean.”_ _ _ _

____“Well, let’s just hurry up to get out of here. Seeing you without your hoodie is freaky.”_ _ _ _

____“If you want I can chill outside and let you buy my game for me.”_ _ _ _

____“Hey, it might be a little freaky, but it’s not 60 bucks freaky.”_ _ _ _

____“I tried.”_ _ _ _

____“You did. And you failed.”_ _ _ _

____“Are you only here for Mario Kart or what?” Jeremy asked, running his finger along a shelf of iconic plushie characters from some of his favorite games._ _ _ _

____“Nope, not really. Wait!” Michael said, pulling a stuffed Toad off of the shelf. “Wahoo! Your princess is in another castle! Or something like that.”_ _ _ _

____“That thing is bigger than your head.” Jeremy laughed._ _ _ _

____“He’s got bigger brains than me, that’s for sure.” Michael said, returning him to his spot on the shelf._ _ _ _

____“His brains are pure stuffing.” Jeremy patted the red dotted head._ _ _ _

____“Exactly.”_ _ _ _

____“Yoshi!” Jeremy said, throwing the green dinosaur stuffed animal into the air. “Man, I’ve been wanting one of these guys forever.”_ _ _ _

____“My nemesis.” Michael whispered._ _ _ _

____“What?”_ _ _ _

____“He always beats me in Mario Party. He’s been declared my rival. Got that?” Michale pressed his finger against Yoshi’s nose._ _ _ _

____Yoshi returned a blank stare deep into Michael’s soul from Jeremy’s arms._ _ _ _

____“Maybe I’ll get him, just to spite you.” Jeremy said, hugging the dinosaur closer._ _ _ _

____“How could you?” Michael asked, clutching his heart. “I thought I was your best friend!”_ _ _ _

____“I have a new best friend now.” Jeremy shrugged. “And his name’s Yoshi.”_ _ _ _

____“Not only has he beaten me in Mario Party, he’s stolen my best friend? Noooo!” Michael said. He looked around the store and proceeded to clear his throat. “I’m just going to pretend no one heard or saw me for my anxiety’s sake. Uh…”_ _ _ _

____“Sounds like a plan.” Jeremy said. “There’s Mario Kart. Let’s get going.”_ _ _ _

____“Why? So you can hang out with your new best friend instead of me?” Michael frowned._ _ _ _

____“I wanna go to Build-A-Bear after this. New Best Friend needs some clothes, right? Maybe a red hoodie and some headphones and worn out old converse.”_ _ _ _

____“You are the _worst _.”___ _ _ _

______“I try.” Jeremy said, looking at Yoshi. “Isn’t that right, Michael 2.0?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“ _What _?! I draw the line there!”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Time to let go.” Jeremy turned away dramatically. “Say hello to Michael 2.0. Or even better, just Michael. Replacement Michael. Maybe I should get him glasses too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far, dude? You can drop the act.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m not kidding. I’m getting him a little red hoodie after this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What if Build-A-Bear doesn’t have one?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ll just order it off Amazon or something.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Not Amazon! You swore you’d never support multimillionaires!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Plans change. Especially when they involve your new best friend.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“When I get Mario Kart, Yoshi’s going down.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ll main Yoshi for the unforeseen future just to spite you. Again.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Stop spiting me, it’s rude!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why should I? It’s fun.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Listen, just cause I’m Bowser Jr. doesn’t mean that my mental state is that young. I’ll own you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You wish.” Jeremy smirked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, I trust someone who normally mains Waluigi.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“That is _offensive _and you know it.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You always lose, so what’s the point?” Michael asked, sliding Mario Kart Deluxe 8 case off of a shelf._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You are so mean.” Jeremy wore a deep melancholic look._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You said to be more mean, right? I’m holding my ground.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Not by attacking Walugi!” Jeremy said. “You can say what you want about me, but leave Waluigi out of it!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“When did this become Waluigi and Yoshi centered?” Michael asked, fishing around for his wallet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Since you _attacked _him unprovoked.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Whatever. We should go to 7-11 after this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You need to cut down on the sugar. I mean slushies.” Jeremy said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Nope. Die young, with lots of sugar.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“That… Are you ok?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, my best friend chose a little green obnoxious dinosaur over me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m sorry. I’ll get you a green slushie to make up for it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“The green slushies are disgusting, stop it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What even is in a green slushie? I mean, what’s the flavor?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Mountain Dew.” Michael threw Jeremy a look._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yeah. Get me a blue slushie, I’m not touching the green ones.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Fine.” Jeremy rolled his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Aight, slushie time!” Michael said as he payed for his game._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hold on, I’ve gotta pay for New Best Friend!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Stop.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
